Tawa Baptist

Grace

Scripture: Various (see below)

Title: G.R.A.C.E.

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • God                   (Romans 5:6-10 & Luke 10:30-36)
  • Realisation        (Luke 18:9-14 & Luke 15:11-24)
  • Acceptance        (John 13:6-10 & 2nd Corinthians 12:7-9)
  • Change              (Luke 3:7-14 & Matthew 18:23-35)
  • Evangelism       (Luke 8:26-39)
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Hi everyone

  • This morning we are taking a break from our series in Ephesians for a one off sermon on grace. The word grace simply means gift.
  • We can’t earn grace; we can only receive it, like soil receives a seed or like a baby receives her mother’s milk.
  • Grace is a good gift, a beautiful gift, a valuable gift, a treasure.
  • God’s grace is also a process, but it’s not an entirely easy process.  

God:

Not surprisingly God’s grace starts with God Himself.

  • Grace is always God’s initiative and God’s grace is often at work long before we are even aware of it. In Romans 5 Paul writes,

You see, at the just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us…

For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life.  

These verses are saying; God’s grace was at work to save us when we were still enemies of God, long before we were even aware of our need for God’s help.

  • God does this because that’s who God is. He saves us out of his goodness and love. When God shows grace He is simply being true to himself.  

Many of you will be familiar with the parable of the Good Samaritan.

  • You know the one; where some poor bloke got mugged and left for dead on the side of the road.
  • Most people of that time were easily identifiable by what they wore.
  • You could tell who was Jewish and who was Roman and who was Samaritan and who was Greek by their clothes.
  • But the man who had been beaten up wasn’t wearing anything because the robbers had taken his clothes.
  • The Samaritan had no way of knowing whether the stranger was a friend or foe.
  • Maybe the wounded man was Jewish, a sworn enemy to the Samaritans.
  • But that didn’t matter, his need trumped everything else.
  • The Good Samaritan showed grace and mercy to that man, even though he didn’t know the guy.

Jesus is like the Good Samaritan and we are like the stranger, unconscious and bleeding out in the gutter.

  • Jesus shows us mercy and grace while we are helpless to save ourselves and indeed, while we are still concussed and unaware of how vulnerable we really are.
  • So often we can only see God’s grace in the rear-vision mirror.

Realisation:

The next step in the process of grace is realising our need.

Have you ever had the experience of losing your keys, needing to find them in a hurry and frantically searching everywhere for them?

  • Robyn has and I’ve been the mug frantically looking with her.
  • After about a minute or two, when it becomes obvious the keys are not in any of the usual places, we realise our desperate need and start praying, asking God to help us find the keys.     
  • Then, when they finally turn up, we are very relieved and thankful. 

Of course, looking for lost keys is a frivolous example, at least in hindsight.

  • Realising our need can be far more painful and difficult, but it’s necessary if we are to become aware of God’s grace
  • Without realising our need, we can’t really accept, let alone appreciate, God’s grace.

They say, ‘You can’t trust someone who has never lost anything’ and its true.

  • In Luke 18 Jesus tells a story of two very different men, a Pharisee and a tax collector.
  • The Pharisee, who is at the top of the pecking order in his society, has never lost anything – he isn’t aware of his need for God and consequently he looks down on others.
  • He thinks he is better than everyone else and reminds God of all the good things he does.
  • The tax collector, on the other hand, knows loss all too well – he is somewhere near the bottom of the social ladder and is acutely aware of his need.
  • He stands at a distance, not daring to look up to heaven, beating his chest saying, “God, have mercy on me a sinner”. 
  • Jesus concluded his story by saying it was the tax collector who went home justified by God.

Before God’s grace can find its home in our heart, we have to realise our need for it.

  • When life is tickety boo and everything is going along fine we usually aren’t aware of our need for God – we tend to think we can manage on our own, without God.
  • It’s not until we are faced with our need that we cry out for help
  • We come to a realisation of our need for God by having our heart broken.
  • To paraphrase Richard Baxter, ‘God breaks every person’s heart in a different way.’
  • Perhaps through illness, maybe through the loss of a loved one, sometimes through betrayal or our own failure or in some other way.
  • But having our heart broken isn’t enough in itself – we also need to reflect on our situation.
  • Reflection (thinking time) helps us to join the dots. Reflection allows the penny to drop.

The problem is, many of us don’t take the time to reflect – we don’t sit with our pain long enough.

  • We find some way to distract ourselves or we numb the pain with alcohol or by keeping busy.
  • Not all pain is good, but sometimes pain is God’s messenger if we would only listen to it.   
  • Having said that, we need to find the right balance between reflection and action.
  • We don’t want to spend so long sitting with our pain that we become stuck, feeling sorry for ourselves.    

The prodigal son, in Luke 15, didn’t come to his senses (he didn’t realise his need) until he hit rock bottom and became so hungry he would have eaten the food he was feeding to the pigs.

  • But it wasn’t just being hungry that made him realise his need – it was also honest reflection.
  • As the younger son thought about how well his father’s servants were treated he realised his best bet was to return home and ask for help.

If God’s grace is a sapling plant and our heart is the soil, then realising our need is the spade which opens our heart to receive God’s grace.

  • Or if God’s grace is a wholesome meal, then realising our need is the hunger which opens our mouths to dine on God’s grace.
  • The same God who breaks our heart also heals our heart.

Jesus said, Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

  • The poor in spirit know their need for God’s grace and they’re not too proud to ask for help.

Acceptance:

After we have realised our need, the next step in the process of grace, is accepting God’s help.

  • This might seem obvious and it might seem like the easy part but it is neither obvious nor easy. Accepting God’s help can be humiliating.
  • The problem is we often want to stay in control. We want to accept God’s grace on our terms. But that’s not how grace works.

The night before he died Jesus washed his disciples’ feet and when he got to Simon Peter, Peter refused because he thought it was beneath Jesus to do this. [1]

  • Perhaps Peter meant well but it’s not for us to set the terms of grace.
  • Jesus said, if you don’t let me wash your feet (if you don’t accept my grace on my terms) you have no part in me
  • Peter couldn’t argue with that and neither can we.

We don’t dictate the terms of God’s grace. All we can do is accept or reject what God decides to give or withhold. 

  • In 2nd Corinthians 12 Paul talks about two of God’s graces given to him.
  • Paul was given a wonderful vision or revelation but then, to stop him becoming conceited, he was also given a thorn in the flesh.
  • Paul writes; Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
  • The vision and the thorn were both forms of God’s grace.
  • The vision was pleasant and the thorn wasn’t.
  • Paul would rather not have had the thorn, but we don’t decide the terms of God’s grace.
  • We are not God. We are his creatures and our part is to come to terms with God’s grace for us – to learn to accept what God gives, as Paul did.

When it comes to God’s grace we may also have a hard time accepting what God does for others.

  • Returning to the parable of the prodigal son, in Luke 15, the older brother certainly had a hard time accepting his father’s grace for the younger son.
  • We see his resentment at the father welcoming the prodigal home with a party.

The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look, all these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him.    

God’s grace for others requires us to be gracious too and that can be difficult.

The process of GRACE starts with God. Next comes the realisation of our need, followed by acceptance and then change.

Change:              

Sometimes we long for change don’t we. Other times we prefer to keep things as they are.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer famously said…

Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy, for which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.

Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.

Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow… Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us.”

Those were Bonhoeffer’s words.

  • Grace requires change. The technical words for the change grace requires are repentance and sanctification.
  • Repentance means a change of mind and a change of behaviour.
  • And sanctification is the process of becoming more like Christ.
  • Repentance goes hand in hand with forgiveness and sanctification should follow justification.
  • We can’t expect God’s grace to leave us unchanged or untouched.
  • We can’t say, ‘Thank you God for your forgiveness. I’ll be on my way now to live as I please.’

In preparing the way for Jesus (the Messiah) John the Baptist preached a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. He didn’t mince his words.

  • Here’s a sample of John’s preaching from Luke 3…

“You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance…9 The axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”10 “What should we do then?” the crowd asked.11 John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”12 Even tax collectors came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?”13 “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.14 Then some soldiers asked him, “And what should we do?” He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—be content with your pay.”

John preached costly grace and so did the apostle Paul. In Romans 6 Paul says,

  • What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

I said before that we were taking a break from Ephesians but actually today’s sermon, about the process of grace, follows the pattern of Ephesians.

  • In the first part of Ephesians Paul talks about what God has done for us in Christ (all the good gifts that are ours because of Jesus).
  • And in the second part of Ephesians Paul talks about the change God’s grace should effect in us.

Now in saying that grace requires us to change we need to know that God is not asking us to be something we are not.

  • The change is from our false self to our true self.
  • It also needs to be said that God is willing to help us change.
  • Sometimes we want to change but we can’t, at least not on our own – we are stuck, frozen like statues. We need the help of God’s Spirit.
  • God’s grace comes with truth to set us free from the lies that trap us.   

The ultimate test that God’s grace has changed us (made us more true on the inside) is our willingness to forgive others. As we say in the Lord’s Prayer, ‘Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.’

Jesus told some chilling tales – real horror stories. One of his scariest parables, in Matthew 18, was told as a warning against cheap grace.

  • The story goes that a servant racked up an incredible debt with the king. We might say a billion dollars in today’s currency.
  • I don’t know how this man did it. Maybe he had a gambling problem or maybe he just liked fast cars and expensive parties.
  • Anyway, when he was brought before the king and asked to give account the servant fell to his knees begging for more time to repay the debt.
  • The servant thought he could set the terms of grace and buy his way out.
  • The King (and everyone else) knew the servant had no hope of repaying the money and yet the King did more than the servant asked for – he forgave the entire debt outright.

Now, you would expect the King’s generosity to change the servant.

  • Sadly, the servant went out, found someone who owed him about $50, grabbed the man by the neck and demanded payment.
  • When the man begged for more time the first servant refused and had him thrown into debtors’ prison.
  • The other servants were extremely upset and told the King.
  • The King, who was a just man, became angry saying, ‘I forgave you the whole amount, you should have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you’.
  • Then the King sent that servant to jail to be punished until he should pay back every penny.
  • And Jesus concluded: ‘That is how my Father in heaven will treat every one of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart’.

God’s grace may be free but it’s not cheap. We need to be careful not to forfeit it. The real proof that grace has done its work in changing us is our willingness to forgive others.  

God, Realisation, Acceptance, Change and Evangelism – spells GRACE.

Evangelism:

Evangelism simply means, passing on good news.

  • Evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.
  • True evangelism is the fruit of a thankful heart – a heart that has been touched and changed by God’s goodness.

I remember as a kid my grandparents had a Newton’s Cradle, like this one, only bigger. [Hold up Newton’s Cradle and set it going]

  • When you lift one metal ball and let it fall, the energy passes all the way through the row causing the metal ball on the end to swing up.
  • The device is named after Isaac Newton because it demonstrates one of the laws of physics; the conservation of momentum and energy.

God’s grace is an energy – it must find release or expression somehow, somewhere. Evangelism and praise are two natural ways in which the energy of God’s grace is released.   

  • If the process of God’s grace is like a Newton’s Cradle, then God’s goodness is the metal ball on one end and evangelism is the ball on the far end. [Set the Newton’s Cradle going again]

Often when Jesus healed or forgave or delivered someone, that person would then tell others what Jesus had done for them.

  • Even when Jesus warned them to be quiet they couldn’t help themselves; the positive energy of his grace needed to find release and expression.
  • Sometimes though Jesus did instruct people to pass on the good news.

In Luke 8, Jesus crossed over to the other side of the lake with his disciples to Gentile territory.

  • No sooner had they stepped off the boat and they were confronted with a man who was possessed by a legion of demons.
  • This man was so troubled, his life in such chaos, that he used to live among the tombs.
  • People tried to restrain him, for his own safety and their own, but he broke the shackles and lived like a wild animal. 

Jesus commanded the demons to leave the man. The demons were afraid of Jesus and begged him not to send them into the abyss.

  • So Jesus showed them grace and let them enter a herd of pigs, which promptly ran off the side of a steep bank and into the lake. 

When the villagers saw the man sitting with Jesus, clothed and in his right mind – his dignity (and humanity) restored, they were frightened.

  • The grace of God is a powerful energy and divine power can be terrifying.
  • Because of their fear the people of that region asked Jesus to leave.
  • Jesus is meek (strong & gentle at the same time) so he did what they asked of him.
  • As Jesus was leaving the man who had been delivered begged to go with him, but Jesus said; Return home and tell how much God has done for you.

Here we see the wisdom of God’s grace.

  • The man had been estranged and alienated and lonely for a long time.
  • He needed to belong again – to be restored to his community.
  • The man was a Gentile. If he went with Jesus, back to Jewish territory, he would be excluded all over again.
  • The man also needed to find expression for the energy God’s grace had created within him.
  • By sending the man back home with the task of telling his story of grace, Jesus was releasing the man.
  • So the man went away and told everyone in town how much Jesus had done for him.   

Conclusion:

This morning we’ve heard about the process of God’s grace.

  • Grace begins with God’s goodness, before we are even aware of it.
  • But for grace to do its work we must realise our need for God.
  • Once we have realised our need we must accept grace on God’s terms.
  • Then comes change for good; personal repentance, proven in the crucible of forgiveness.   
  • Eventually though, the energy of grace must find release in evangelism, and praise; telling others the good things God has done for us.

This process of God’s grace isn’t just a one off thing though – it is a cycle which repeats itself, going deeper and deeper into our soul each time, until we reach maturity in Christ-likeness.

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading these Scriptures and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?
  2. Thinking back over your life, can you recall a time when God’s grace was at work before you were aware of it? (When have you seen God’s grace in the rear-vision mirror?)
  3. Can you recall a time in your life when you realised your need for God? What happened?
  4. Why is it important for us to reflect on our situation when things go wrong?
  5. What has been your experience of accepting God’s grace? Is it similar to that of the prodigal son, or of Peter having his feet washed or of Paul’s thorn in the flesh? Or is it different to that?
  6. What is the difference between cheap grace and costly grace?
  7. What change has God’s grace brought in your life?
  8. How can we release the energy of God’s grace?
  9. Is there someone who would benefit from hearing about the good things God has done in your life?
  10. Take some time this week to reflect on the different times God has led you through His cycle of grace. Where are you at in the cycle of grace right now? What are the next steps for you?    

[1] John 13:6-10

Tawa Baptist

Wise Living

Scripture: Ephesians 5:15-21

Title: Wise Living

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Making the most of our time
  • Discerning the will of God
  • Being filled with the Spirit
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

The year before we started training for ministry at Carey Baptist we went to check the College out and meet some of the students

  • To make conversation I asked the students assigned to us what subjects they were majoring in and one of them said ‘moral & practical theology’
  • I didn’t know anything about theological education so I naively said, ‘Moral & practical theology aye. Is there any other kind?’
  • I thought, surely you wouldn’t want theology (the study of God) to be immoral or impractical. They graciously overlooked my ignorance.
  • The next year I learned that there is another branch of theology called ‘systematic theology’
  • Systematic theology is the theory, the big ideas, the framework and history of thinking about God
  • Whereas moral and practical theology is more the application of the theory to real life, things like ethics and pastoral care

Today we continue our series in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, focusing on chapter 5, verses 15-21

  • In the first half of Ephesians Paul provides his readers with some big picture thinking about God and Christ
  • Then, in the second half, Paul focuses more on moral and practical theology – the application of life in Christ
  • This morning’s passage forms part of the application.
  • From Ephesians 5, verse 15 we read…

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Singing and making music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us

In a nutshell, these verses are about wise living. Paul draws our attention to three things that wise people do

  • Wise people make the most of their time
  • Wise people discern the will of God
  • And wise people are filled with the Holy Spirit, not booze

 

Making the most of our time:

When we were young, my friends and I got involved with white water slalom kayaking. A slalom course normally includes about 18-25 gates which you have to manoeuvre your boat through

  • Green & white stripped gates you must pass through going downstream and red & white gates you go through paddling upstream
  • When we did it they also had gates you were required to go through backwards but they don’t do that anymore
  • If you touch a gate you get 5 seconds added to your time as a penalty
  • And if you miss a gate it’s a 50 second penalty
  • The competitor with the fastest time wins.

Slalom paddling requires quite a bit of practical skill and accuracy

  • You have to plan your approach to each gate carefully, putting yourself in the best position to pass through the gate quickly and cleanly

 

In Ephesians 5 Paul writes

  • Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…

For Christians, living in this world is a bit like navigating a white water slalom course – it requires practical wisdom and close attention

  • We can’t afford to blunder our way through life without thinking about what we are doing – we need to think strategically and act carefully
  • Or as Jesus put it, ‘Be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.’

One of the things a wise person does is make the most of every opportunity

  • A wise person uses their time well
  • The Greek language has two words for time: chronos and kairos
  • Chronos is the word used for the time of day – as in chronological time
  • Whereas Kairos is the word used for describing the opportune moment
  • Returning to our slalom analogy – the chronos time is the total time it takes to get through the course
  • Chronos time is punctuated with Kairos moments. Each time you pass through a slalom gate, that’s a Kairos moment, a critical moment, when you are careful not to touch the gate.

The word that is used here, in verse 16, is Kairos

  • Literally this verse could be translated ‘redeem the time’
  • This doesn’t mean try and pack as much into every moment of the day that you can (because it’s not talking about chronological time)
  • It means, redeem every opportunity you can for good.

To be able to redeem the time (or make the most of every opportunity) we need to have our wits about us

  • We need to be alert, like a slalom kayaker, because the days are evil
  • We are not floating down a slow, lazy river
  • We are navigating our way through a fast moving, constantly changing and sometimes bumpy environment which could tip us over at any moment

Not all the water in a river flows the same way

  • Close to the river bank the water is usually relatively still or even flowing upstream
  • A wise kayaker reads the river – they look for eddy lines and use the current of the river to their advantage
  • They also avoid the back wash behind rocks so they don’t get sucked under or stuck in a hole
  • In the same way, a wise Christian reads the current of the society in which they live
  • We think strategically to make the most of the time and avoid getting sucked into holes

To put this idea of making the most of opportunities into more concrete terms let me give you some examples from the life of our church

  • A few years ago now we used to be involved in delivering CRE (or Bible in schools) to various Primary schools in Tawa
  • But then schools became less receptive to the work and so we considered what else we might do to connect with and serve our community
  • As it happened the principal of Tawa College attends Tawa Baptist and was wanting to start 24-7 youth work in his school
  • We had the personnel and the willingness to help so we entered into a partnership with Tawa College – it made sense, it was a good fit
  • Who knows, without the Principal in that role we may not have had the opportunity to get 24-7 started.

Or take another example. Several years ago there were some earthquakes in Christchurch which caused us to consider the seismic rating of our buildings

  • We have some very capable engineers in our congregation so it seemed wise (an opportune time) to draw on their expertise in guiding us through a process of strengthening our buildings.

Another example. About 3 or 4 years ago one of the Bible study leaders was considering what Bible study material to use with her small group

  • She didn’t want to infringe any copyright laws or have to reinvent the wheel herself, so she asked me if I would create some questions to go with my sermons each week that she could use in her Bible study
  • I was happy to do this – it made sense
  • It was a way of making the most of the opportunity and redeeming the time I put into sermon prep – getting more mileage out of the message.

We are talking about the wisdom of making the most of our time. An example from the Bible. This morning the kids in the Flock Sunday school are learning how Jesus called his first disciples, in Luke 5

  • When Jesus came to earth he didn’t bring anything with him from heaven, except the Holy Spirit
  • Jesus was more inclined to use what was available to him on earth
  • In Luke 5, a crowd gathered to hear Jesus speak
  • Jesus saw an opportunity and made the most of it by using Simon Peter’s fishing boat to preach from
  • Then he called Peter, James and John to be his disciples (his apprentices)
  • Jesus knew his time on earth was limited and wisely used the time to create a community of people to carry on the work after he had gone.

I could give other examples but you get the idea – wise people redeem the time.

  • They make the most of the opportunities they are given for promoting God’s purpose
  • This doesn’t mean trying to do everything yourself
  • It doesn’t mean being so busy you can’t think straight
  • It means stepping back and taking time to discern God’s will and then getting on with it

 

Discerning the will of God:

Which brings us to our second point: wise people discern God’s will

  • In verse 17 Paul writes…

 

  • Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

The word translated as ‘foolish’ in this verse relates specifically to moral folly –we make good moral choices by understanding or discerning the Lord’s will.

 

Some of you might be into cray fishing or at least eating crayfish. If you are then you will know that crays under a certain size must be thrown back

  • For males the minimum tail width is 54mm and for females it is 60mm
  • Taking under sized crayfish is not only illegal, it is also morally foolish because it puts future crayfish stocks at risk
  • When you measure a cray you don’t guess, you use a standard measure like this one
  • The Bible is the standard or the measuring stick for discerning God’s will.

Now, while the Bible is good in providing a general guide for God’s will, it won’t always provide us with the answers we might want

  • When it comes to specific situational things, like what career path to take or who to marry or whether to stay single or whether the church should support this cause or another; we need a number of tools in our tool kit for discerning God’s will.

Paul doesn’t explore how to discern God’s will in these verses but whenever I am faced with a particular decision (one the Scriptures don’t obviously prohibit) I usually try to follow a common sense process…

  • Common sense avoids rushing in. It is important to be able to make the decision while we are not under pressure.

Praying about it is also a wise thing to do.

  • Say to God this is what I’m presented with.
  • This is what I’m thinking and feeling about it.
  • What do you want in this situation? Guide me in your will.
  • Open the doors you want us to walk through and close the doors you don’t want us to walk through.

A common sense process also involves reflecting on the probable consequences of taking a particular course of action. For example…

  • How will this affect God’s Kingdom and His reputation?
  • How will this affect my family?
  • How will this affect the church?
  • Do I have the capacity (the time, energy and skill) to embrace this?
  • Just because something is intrinsically good doesn’t mean we should do it
  • If you give yourself to every good cause that comes along you end up spreading yourself a too thin.
  • So you have to ask, how does this fit with my personality and values?
  • Can I live with this decision long term? Can I fulfil my commitment?
  • Is there someone else better suited?
  • They are the sort of questions we ask ourselves.

In discerning God’s will we might look for signs or clues in our circumstances or in the things that people unwittingly say to us.

  • Sometimes God reveals his will to us in dreams, but not all dreams are necessarily God speaking to us.
  • Sometimes God may give us a very specific verse of Scripture which shines a light on the way to go.
  • But, with all these things, we need to be careful.
  • Sometimes we can read what we want into our circumstances or dreams or Scripture, but if we talk it through with someone who knows us well, they can help us see our blind spots.
  • There is wisdom in seeking the advice of two or three people you trust and not trying to solve it on your own.

There are times, aren’t there, when we wish that God would just send us an email or a text telling us clearly what to do, but He doesn’t operate like that

  • God is not always directive. He often gives us options with the freedom to choose. We don’t get to see the full plan in advance
  • Mostly it feels like we are walking through the bush in the dark with only a torch – the light is just enough to see one or two steps ahead, but not enough to see any further down the track.

 

When I was younger I didn’t always make good decisions but God is gracious and He often finds a way to redeem our mistakes, to make the most of our time

  • When I left school I made the mistake of studying business management and accounting – it seemed like the right thing at the time (and I’m sure it is right for a good many people) but it wasn’t ideal for me
  • Nevertheless, God used my mistake for good – I still draw on those skills even now in pastoral ministry.

Discerning God’s will can be time consuming but if your heart is to honour God and do right by Him, He will point you in the right direction and use the choices you make to serve His purpose.

 

Okay, so wise people make the most of the time and they seek to understand God’s will – both His general will and His specific will

  • Wise people are also filled with the Holy Spirit

 

Being filled with the Spirit:

From verse 18 of Ephesians 5 we read…

  • Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,

In the normal course of events there is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in moderation – unless you are an alcoholic or unless your drinking would be unhelpful to someone else’s faith

  • The problem is with drinking to excess. Apparently alcohol abuse was a plague on society in the ancient world as it still is today
  • A wise person exercises self-control. Alcohol impairs our decision making function and robs us of our self-control.
  • Therefore, getting drunk is a foolish moral choice because it puts us on a bad path

Being filled with God’s Spirit, on the other hand, enhances our decision making function and helps us to better control ourselves – The Spirit makes us wiser.

  • Where it says, be filled with the Spirit, the tense of the verb is present continuous – which means we don’t just get filled once, we are to go being filled with the Holy Spirit
  • We need the Spirit regularly, like we need oxygen or water.

So how do we get these regular fillings of the Holy Spirit?

  • Well, Paul doesn’t say in these verses, but we know from elsewhere in Scripture that we can’t manipulate the Spirit
  • Being filled with the Spirit isn’t like filling up your car with petrol – we don’t fill ourselves up, we are dependent on the Spirit to fill us.
  • The Spirit fills us like wind fills a sail
  • We can’t make the wind blow or control which direction it blows from; but we can trim our sail to catch the wind
  • Of course, there’s nothing wrong with praying for God to send His wind and asking the Spirit to fill us,
  • Given that Paul has just talked about being in Christ, earlier in Ephesians, we could expect the Spirit to go on filling us as we remain in Christ; much like the branches of a tree continue to be nourished as they stay connected to the main trunk

 

Having instructed his readers to be filled with the Spirit, Paul then goes on to mention four behaviours that are consistent with the Spirit’s activity among us

  • …speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.
  • Singing and making music in your heart to the Lord,
  • always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
  • And, Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 

These are not the only signs of the Holy Spirit’s activity

  • In Galatians Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control
  • And in John’s gospel we read how the Spirit of Jesus is a Spirit of grace and truth

 

Returning to Ephesians though, the first Spirit inspired behaviour Paul mentions is speaking and the language we use to communicate with each other

  • A community that shares a common language has a strong sense of identity and a shared understanding
  • Our language is not to be peppered with obscenities and innuendo, it is to be full of the language of the psalms and of praise for God.

 

Singing has to do with gathered worship and making music in your heart has to do with integrity in worship

  • There needs to be a harmony between what we are saying about God with our mouths and the intention of our hearts – our hearts need to be in it.
  • Two things happen when we sing and make music in our hearts to the Lord:
    • Our attention is shifted off ourselves and onto God, so we become less self-centred
    • And, we learn theology – we learn how to think about God

 

Giving thanks for everything is qualified by in the name of Jesus

  • It’s easy enough to give thanks for the good things (the pleasant things) but what about the yucky stuff?
  • Well we don’t need to give thanks for evil
  • If we are speaking words from the psalms to each other then we are free to lament evil because the psalms are all about being honest with God
  • This means we don’t have to pretend to be thankful for something we are not – Paul isn’t suggesting we say, ‘thank you God for this headache’.
  • Giving thanks for everything, in the name of Jesus means giving thanks on the basis of who Jesus is and what he has done. [1]
  • So, when someone dies and we feel sad, we don’t have to pretend to be happy. We don’t have to give thanks for their death.
  • The wise thing is to feel our grief but, in our sadness, to give thanks that Jesus has conquered death – ‘where oh death is your sting’.

Jesus encouraged thankfulness with his beatitudes

  • Blessed (lucky) are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven
  • Blessed (lucky) are you when people insult you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven.

 

The fourth sign that the Spirit is active in a community of faith is the willingness of people to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

  • The Greek word for submit literally means ‘arrange under’ [2]
  • We are to arrange our lives under Christ
  • We are to think of others as better than ourselves
  • We are to treat each other with reverence as we would Christ
  • (If you can recall the story I told a couple of weeks ago about the monks – the Messiah is among you)
  • At times we may be required to sacrifice what we want for others
  • Mutual submission requires a high level of trust
  • In submitting to others we are trusting they have our best interests at heart and will in turn submit to us
  • For mutual submission to work our lives need to be governed by the love of Christ – self-giving love – it requires us all to reach maturity in Christ.

 

Jesus washing his disciples’ feet (in John 13) is a picture of submission

  • Even though Peter is uncomfortable with it he still submits to what Jesus is doing. Mutual submission is not easy

Abraham giving his nephew Lot the choice of the land (in Genesis 13) is another example of what submitting to others might look like

  • Lot chose what appeared to be the best quality land and Abraham submitted to Lot’s choice
  • I’m not sure Lot understood what his uncle was doing – the submission may have been one way in that instance

 

What I notice as I reflect on Paul’s four signs of the Spirit, in Ephesians 5, is that each one is more challenging than the one before – they are like a progression or a staircase

  • Speaking to other believers with psalms and spiritual songs is relatively easy
  • Singing together, with integrity in our worship, that’s a bit harder
  • Always giving thanks for everything in the name of Jesus can be even harder still, especially when we are suffering in some way
  • And as for submitting to one another – that’s top shelf, its advanced stuff.

 

The other thing we notice in these verses is the presence of the Trinity – God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit

  • The community of the church is modelled off the community of the God head.

 

Conclusion:

This morning we’ve been talking about wise living

  • Wise people make the most of their time
  • Wise people make the effort to discern God’s will
  • And wise people are filled with the Spirit – it is the Spirit of God that makes moral and practical wisdom possible.

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon?
  • Why do you think this stood out to you?

2. What does it mean to make the most of our time?

  • How are you using (or redeeming) the time?

3. How do we discern the Lord’s will?

  • Think of a time in your life when you have gone through a process of discerning God’s will. What was your process? What was the outcome?

4. What is your attitude to and practice regarding alcohol?

5. What does Paul mean by being ‘filled with the Spirit’?

  • How might we trim our sail to better catch the wind of God’s Spirit?

6. Discuss / reflect on the four signs of the Spirit’s activity mentioned in Ephesians 5

  • To what extent is each of these part of your experience with other believers?
  • Which one(s) to do you find more difficult? Why?

7. Imagine Paul was in the room with you now. What would you ask him concerning Ephesians 5:15-21? What do you think he might say?

 

 

[1] Refer Klyne Snodgrass, NIVAC Ephesians, page 291.

[2] Ibid, page 292.

Tawa Baptist

Love & Light

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-14

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Live in love
  • Live as light
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Today we continue our series in Ephesians

  • In some ways the letter to the Ephesians is like a river – it flows from a single source (God’s grace for us in Christ) and then, down-stream, the letter issues into a variety of moral & ethical applications for daily life
  • Like a river, Ephesians forms a continuous whole
  • Because of limits of time and concentration we aren’t able to adequately preach on the whole of Ephesians at once
  • We have to break it into smaller more manageable pieces
  • The problem with this though is that we can miss the bigger picture; we can lose the thread of the whole
  • We are now looking at the moral & ethical implications of life in Christ – but in doing this we need to remember that Paul started his letter with God’s grace – grace comes first
  • Although we have covered chapter 4 already, I’d like to start from the end of Ephesians 4 to give a sense of connection with what has gone before.
  • From Ephesians 4, verse 32 we read…

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore, do not be partners with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s Word for us

The headline of today’s Scripture reading is ‘Imitate God’

  • We can’t imitate God in every respect but we can show kindness, compassion and forgiveness toward others, as God shows us
  • God is love and God is light
  • When we live our lives in such a way as to reveal His love and the light of His truth, then we are imitating Him
  • What then does it mean to ‘live a life of love’?

 

Live in love:

Well, the kind of love that is in view here is self-giving love – let me tell you a story to illustrate what I mean

Years ago now, I watched an old short film in black and white. I don’t remember what it was called but the story was about a husband and wife who were about to celebrate their first wedding anniversary

  • They loved each other very much and wanted to give one another something special as an anniversary present
  • Being young and newlywed though, they didn’t have much money
  • The wife had beautiful long hair, it was smooth and silky to touch and smelled divine
  • The husband thought to himself, ‘I know just the thing’
  • The husband had an old pocket watch handed down from his grandfather
  • He really loved that watch, because it reminded him of his grandad
  • His wife knew exactly what she would buy him

The day of their anniversary came and the husband & wife exchanged presents

  • The wife opened hers first and there it was, a beautiful silver comb for placing in her long hair. At once she burst into tears
  • When the husband asked, “What’s wrong my love”, the wife took off her head scarf to reveal a crew cut – all her hair had been cut off
  • The husband gently kissed his wife on the forehead and said, ‘I love you’
  • ‘Even with my bald head?’ she gasped between sobs
  • ‘Yes, even with your bald head. But why did you cut it? You loved your hair’

The wife silently handed her husband his present, as if to say, ‘Here’s your answer’

  • As the husband unwrapped the parcel he realised all at once how much they loved each other
  • Inside was a silver chain for his grandfather’s pocket watch
  • ‘Do you like it my love?’ the wife asked
  • ‘Yes, it is very fine indeed’
  • ‘Then why the long face?’
  • ‘I sold my grandfather’s watch to buy the comb for your hair’
  • The wife reflected for a moment and then said, ‘And I cut my hair to buy a chain for your watch’
  • At that moment they smiled at each other and started laughing
  • ‘You loved me enough to sell your grandfather’s watch’
  • ‘And you loved me enough to sell your hair’
  • Self-giving love you see

 

The Bible gives us plenty of examples of self-giving love

Joseph, the dreamer, showed self-giving love by forgiving his brothers who had sold him into slavery. He had them in his power to do with as he wished. But he didn’t take revenge. He treated them with generosity and grace

Moses showed self-giving love in leading the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. He didn’t really want the job at first. He would have preferred the quiet life of a shepherd. But instead, he put aside what he wanted and took on the responsibility of leading God’s people

Ruth showed self-giving love to Naomi. After Naomi’s husband and sons had died Ruth made a solemn commitment to stay with Naomi and take care of her, even though Naomi’s prospects didn’t look good

Joseph, the carpenter, showed self-giving love in his treatment of Mary, the mother of Jesus. It must have been hard for Joseph to learn that his fiancé was pregnant with someone else’s baby. But he didn’t want to subject Mary to public disgrace. When Joseph learned the truth he went ahead and married Mary, in obedience to God and love for Mary

Jesus showed self-giving love by leaving his glory in heaven, becoming a human being, going to the cross and giving up his life for our salvation. He wrestled with it you know, in the Garden of Gethsemane, sweating great drops of blood. The prospect of facing separation from God wasn’t easy. But Jesus went through with it so we could share in the life of God. Self-giving love pleases God.

Now, when I give you all these examples of people showing self-giving love it sounds romantic and heroic, but I can tell you from experience that the reality of self-giving love is hard yacker. Day in, day out, it’s not easy or glorious.

  • Self-giving love is changing nappies in the middle of the night, doing housework, transporting children, coaching sports teams, working double shifts, leading Sunday school or youth group, caring for aging parents, being patient on the road and a million other mundane little things, all of which we do to imitate God, because God is worth it

Self-giving love stands in contrast to self-indulgence and self-gratification

  • From verse 3, of Ephesians 5, Paul describes the sort of lifestyle the followers of Jesus need to avoid…

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Sex is not a bad thing – sex is a good gift from God, which the Lord intended for husband and wife to enjoy exclusively in the context of a loving marriage

  • Sexual immorality and impurity cover every kind of sexual sin; basically all sexual intercourse outside of a God ordained marriage [1]
  • Greed is wanting more and more – it’s an unhealthy desire
  • It could be greed for sexual encounters, or greed for money, or greed for something else. Greed is the opposite of generosity
  • Sexual immorality is a behaviour. Greed is the attitude, or motivation of the heart, which leads to immorality

As well as not practicing sexual immorality, Paul is saying there shouldn’t even be any hint of it among God’s holy people.

  • That means no crude jokes and no sexual innuendo in our talk
  • It’s not that humour is bad. Nothing wrong with a good clean joke
  • The problem is, when we make light of something we make that thing more acceptable
  • Joking about sexual immorality makes it easier to go down that path
  • Thanksgiving, on the other hand, puts us on a path to enjoying God and being content with our life

 

In verses 5-7 Paul goes on to explain the spiritual danger of immorality and greed…

For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore, do not be partners with them.

I’m not sure about you but I find these verses a bit disturbing. Paul’s words here are prone to misunderstanding; they need some explanation.

An idolater is someone who worships something other than God

  • Whether that is a statue of wood or stone or money or their career or their reputation or sex or whatever.
  • Idolatry is the opposite of imitating God
  • Idolatry goes hand in hand with immorality and greed
  • Idolatry begins with us thinking we are in charge – but then we find out (often too late) that we have become slaves to what we worship

The kingdom of God is a place where God alone is worshipped

  • In God’s kingdom, God is in charge – he’s the boss (not us)
  • Therefore, God’s kingdom is a place where God’s will is done (His subjects obey Him willingly)
  • There is no immorality or greed in God’s kingdom because obedience to God rules out those things
  • By definition God’s kingdom is a place of self-giving love & generosity
  • God doesn’t want to exclude anyone from His kingdom
  • Anyone who is willing to submit to Christ is allowed into God’s kingdom
  • But if we refuse to submit to Christ, if we carry on living a greedy or immoral lifestyle, then we exclude ourselves

God’s wrath refers to God’s righteous judgement or anger against sin

  • Sin is that which separates us from God and ultimately destroys us
  • God is slow to anger but, because God loves His creation, he won’t tolerate sin indefinitely
  • Paul doesn’t specify exactly what he means by God’s wrath, in these verses, but the wider Biblical text indicates that God’s wrath can find expression in a number of different ways
  • If we think of sin as a forest fire, destroying trees, then God’s wrath is like a drenching rain putting the fire out
  • Or if sin is a time bomb, then God’s wrath is the bomb disposal unit
  • Other times God’s wrath is more of a hands off thing; where He stands back and lets people pursue their desires and learn by the consequences of their own actions
  • In any case, God’s wrath is fair – it is just & right, controlled & measured

Another point of clarification is needed in regard to verse 7, where Paul says, do not be partners with them

  • This does not mean we have to cut all ties with those who live an immoral lifestyle or who are greedy
  • The point is, as Christians we are not to participate in an immoral lifestyle
  • So long as an immoral person is not going to lead us astray we can still have a normal social relationship with them [2]
  • We separate from sin, not from people or society
  • And we remember that we ourselves are not perfect. There is good and bad in everyone. We are all sinners and we are all sinned against.

 

To the parents out there who feel uncomfortable with the lifestyle of their adult children, I want to say, you are not responsible for the choices your kids make. There are many influences on our children

  • Where possible we need to stay in right relationship with our kids and do our best to imitate God’s self-giving love for them

And if you are worried about someone you love who might be living an immoral lifestyle, then remember that God is good. His wrath is fair and just

  • This means, the worst we can expect from God is justice (getting what we deserve)
  • But, when we are in Christ we can expect mercy and grace (being treated better than we deserve)

Now there may be some here who have had sex outside of marriage and are wondering, does that mean I’ve blown it, that I’ve excluded myself forever?

    • No – not necessarily
    • Fornication, greed, adultery, sexually abusing others, all of those sins can be forgiven and the slate wiped clean, so long as we repent
    • Repentance means being sorry for what we have done and stopping the immoral behaviour
    • Once we’ve repented and been forgiven we don’t have to revisit it – we don’t need to feel bad anymore.
    • If God has forgiven you, you can forgive yourself
  • As far as the east is from the west, that’s how far He has removed our transgressions from us

 

We are to imitate God – that means living a life of love and living as light

Live as light:

Yesterday, as I was reflecting on verses 8-14 of Ephesians 5, I came up against a block – I couldn’t quite get a handle on what Paul was trying to say with his image of light and darkness.

  • Sometimes the Scripture doesn’t yield its meaning easily
  • When that happens I need to get out of my office for a bit and find some creative inspiration
  • So I went to Caroline Hollow’s art exhibition at Redwood Kitchens, on the Main Rd here in Tawa – it’s still on this afternoon until about 4pm
  • Most of you will know Caroline because she has worshipped here at Tawa Baptist for many years
  • Caroline’s exhibition is called A Transformed Landscape.
  • There’s one painting there called Ideal Wellington.
  • It’s a landscape of the Wellington harbour without the impact of man, without a city scape intruding on the environment
  • Among other things, Caroline’s work shines a light on the effect human beings have had on the land

As part of her exhibition Caroline produced this little booklet which contains a number of quotes. One quote, by Michael Bonnet, leapt off the page to me. Michael writes…

“The anthropologist Gregory Bateson notes how when faced with a changing variable we tend to focus on modifying our environment rather than ourselves.”

It’s true. We human beings have put so much energy into changing the environment to suit ourselves, and in the process (of trying to make everything revolve around us) we’ve done a lot of damage to the planet

  • If we spent more time letting God’s Spirit change us and less time trying to modify the environment, the rain forests in South America (the lungs of the world) might not be burning now
  • Jesus came to earth to save all of creation but his strategy was to begin by changing the human heart, from the inside out
  • The problem isn’t with the environment. The problem is with us. We have a tendency toward idolatry; we are inclined to worship ourselves.
  • If we let the Spirit of God change our heart, the land will heal

As I was walking back from Caroline’s exhibition it occurred to me what Paul was trying to say in Ephesians 5

  • Verses 8-14 are about the transformation that God’s light brings
  • Light has the power to effect change
  • What we notice though is that the change Paul is talking about is not so much a change to the environment but a change to ourselves
  • A change to our minds and our behaviour

 

In verse 8 Paul says, For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light

    • Jesus is the light of the world so when we are ‘in Christ’ we too become light. That’s not a change to our environment. That’s a change to us
  • Likewise, in verse 14 Paul says, “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

 

  • This is some kind of quote used in the early church
  • Our former condition is described in terms of sleep, death and darkness
  • Christian conversion is nothing less than waking out of sleep, rising from death and being brought out of darkness into the light [3]
  • Once again, that’s not a change to our environment. That’s a change to us

 

Verse 9 talks about what the change within us looks like

  • (for the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)  

 

  • The image here is of a tree bearing fruit
  • Without light a tree can’t bear any fruit. Left in the dark a tree will die
  • But with the right amount of sunshine the tree bears good fruit in season
  • The light of Christ produces the fruit of changed attitudes and behaviour
  • Instead of the lie of idolatry, we are set free by the truth about God (and the truth about ourselves)
  • Instead of being motivated by greed, we are motivated by goodness
  • And instead of living an immoral lifestyle we live in righteousness (or right relationship) with others

 

The power of God’s light, to change the human heart, is developed further in verses 11-13 where Paul says…

  • Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

 

This is a green crayon. I have here a dark piece of paper and a light piece of paper

  • If I make a mark with this crayon on both pieces of paper, which one do you think will be more visible? [Wait] Ok, let’s try it and see
  • [Make a mark on both pieces of paper, then hold them up]
  • Which mark is easier to see? That’s right. The one on the light paper
  • Light exposes things. Light makes things more visible
  • When we live as children of light we can’t help but expose the truth

What does Paul mean by exposing the deeds of darkness?

  • Wrong doing is like a mushroom – it thrives in the dark but shrivels in direct sunlight
  • Exposing the deeds of darkness means shining a light on them
  • We shine a light by our example of a good lifestyle and by speaking up
  • Sometimes the presence of someone who lives a good life is enough to make a wrong doer feel guilty for their secret sins and change
  • Other times though exposing the deeds of darkness may require us to speak up, like reporting child abuse to the police so they can investigate
  • Light is truth and the truth brings change by setting people free

 

Conclude:

This morning we’ve heard how we are to imitate God by living a life of self-giving love and living as light

  • Let me conclude with one more illustration to sum things up…

[Hold up a large candle]

  • This is a candle – actually it’s the Christ candle that we light on Christmas Eve. [Place the candle on the table and light it]
  • This is just a little tea light candle
  • Imagine the larger candle represents Christ and the little tea light candle represents you
  • Christ shines a light on what God is like
  • The goal is for us to imitate God and, because Jesus shows us what God is like, that means imitating Christ
  • Repentance is the journey of moving closer to Christ – becoming more Christ-like
  • This is what it means to be ‘in Christ’
  • [Move to the table and light the smaller candle off the larger one]
  • ‘Everything that is illuminated becomes a light’

 

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?
  2. In what way(s) can we imitate God? In what sense can’t we imitate God?
  3. What does it mean to ‘live a life of love’?
  • Do you have a story of self-giving love? Who would benefit from hearing your story?

4. What does Paul mean by ‘sexual immorality, impurity and greed’?

  • How are the sexual ethics of the New Testament different from the sexual ethics of western society today? How are they similar?

5. How are we to relate with those who don’t share our values or moral beliefs?

6. Discuss / reflect on Gregory Bateson’s comment that human beings tend to focus on modifying their environment rather than themselves.

7. What does it mean to live as children of light?

  • How might we expose the deeds of darkness?

8. Light a large-ish candle and put it in the centre of the room. Take a smaller, tea-light candle for yourself. Spend a few minutes in stillness as you contemplate what you want to say to God. Maybe something you are sorry for. Maybe something you need help with. Maybe someone you are concerned for. Maybe something you are thankful for. Say a quiet simple prayer to express your feeling and intent. After you have prayed, light your tea light candle from the larger candle in the centre of the room. Take a moment to be still again. Is God saying anything to you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1] Refer John Stott, Ephesians, page 191.

[2] NIV Study Bible, footnote to verse 7.

[3] Refer John Stott, Ephesians, page 201.

Tawa Baptist

Honour

Scripture: Ephesians 6:1-4

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Christ among us
  • Children honour
  • Fathers nourish
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Today we continue our series in Ephesians

  • Ordinarily we would be up to chapter 5 by now but, because it’s Fathers’ Day, we are jumping forward to chapter 6 where Paul talks about how children and parents are to relate with each other
  • From Ephesians 6, verses 1-4, in the NIV we read…

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise — “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us

 

Christ among us:

There was once an old monastery secluded in a forest, miles from any towns or cities

  • People used to travel out of their way to spend time in this monastery
  • In recent years though fewer and fewer people made the effort to come

The Abbot of the monastery was in the habit of meeting with his good friend, a retired Jewish Rabbi, for a game of chess on the first Monday of each month

  • Noticing that the Abbot was a bit distracted (taking longer between moves) the Rabbi asked, ‘What are you in touch with my friend?’
  • So the Abbot poured out the contents of his soul…
  • ‘Our monastery used to be a place of peace. I remember there was a warmth and stillness there that healed the soul. You could see a visible change in the people who came for spiritual retreat. I don’t see that change anymore. We used to be a well that people would come to for refreshment, but it seems now the well is dry’
  • The old Rabbi listened to the Abbot’s heart and when the Abbot had finished speaking he paused for a few moments
  • After the silence had done its work the Rabbi said to the Abbot, ‘Last night I received a vision. In my vision I saw the Messiah among the brothers in the monastery. Christ is among you.’

After their game of chess, the Abbot returned to the monastery, the Rabbi’s words resting softly in his mind

  • One among their own was the Messiah! Who could it be? He knew it wasn’t himself, but who?
  • When he shared the Rabbi’s vision with the other monks a stillness descended as they looked into each other’s faces. Was this one the Messiah?

From that day on the mood in the monastery changed. Joseph and Ivan forgave the past and started talking again

  • Peter, who always seemed to find his way out of doing chores, started helping others with theirs
  • Naidu, who was often heard complaining about the Abbot behind his back, started appreciating the Abbot’s better qualities
  • The monks began smiling more, singing more and looking for opportunities to help passers by
  • They treated each other with greater reverence and respect, as to the Lord

When one traveler, then another, found their way to the monastery word soon spread about the remarkable spirit of the place.

  • People once again took the journey to the brothers and found themselves renewed and transformed.
  • The well had been filled, all because those monks knew that Christ was among them.

In Ephesians 5 & 6 Paul encourages his readers to live in light of the fact that Jesus, the Messiah, is among them

  • As Eugene Peterson observes, the repeated phrase that redefines who we are in all the complexities of household and workplace is ‘as to the Lord’ and ‘in the Lord’… [1]
  • When we love Jesus and realise that he is in our relationships with others, and therefore affected by the way we relate with each other, it causes us to treat people with greater reverence and respect, as it did the monks

 

 

There are essentially two aspects to this morning’s reading from Ephesians

  • There is Paul’s instruction to children as to how they are to relate to their parents and there is Paul’s instruction to fathers as to how they are to relate with their children
  • In both cases it is ‘in the Lord’ or ‘with the Lord’

 

Children honour:

Who knows how to play the game ‘Simon Says’?

  • Good. For those who need a reminder, whenever I say ‘Simon says…’ you follow the instruction but if I don’t say ‘Simon says’ then you don’t do what I say. Let’s see if we can do this
  • Simon says put your hands on your head
  • Simon says put your finger on your nose
  • Simon says put your hands in the air
  • Simon says shake your hands
  • Fold your arms
  • You are too good

 

In verse 1 of Ephesians 6 Paul says, ‘Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.’

To the people of Paul’s day, whether Christian or not, it was standard wisdom for children to obey their parents – nothing strange or counter cultural about that

  • The idea here is that parents have a delegated authority from God so, in the normal course of events, it is right for children to obey their parents because parents are God’s representatives
  • Parents are there to protect and provide for their children therefore, most of the time, obeying your parents is in your interests
  • Luke 2, verse 51, tells us how a 12 year old Jesus was obedient to his parents, Mary & Joseph, and that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and man
  • It is God’s design that children obey their parents

 

But does this mean, children should always obey their parents no matter what?

  • Well, not necessarily. There are exceptions to the rule
  • Paul qualifies the cultural norm of his day by saying ‘obey your parents in the Lord’
  • In the Lord is sort of like Simon says
  • Whenever parents ask their child to do something that is within what Christ wants, that’s like saying ‘Simon says’ – you do it
  • But if a parent asks their child to do something which is outside of what Christ wants then that’s like dropping the ‘Simon says’ – it’s not binding
  • The idea here is that while children have a duty to obey their parents they have a greater responsibility to Christ

 

In verses 2 & 3 Paul continues his instruction to children saying, Honour your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

 

God’s command to honour our parents is the fifth of the ten commandments

  • The Jews divided the ten commandments into two sets of five
  • The first five commandments are about our duty to God and the second five are about our duty to our neighbour
  • Honouring our mum and dad, therefore, is part of our duty to God
  • Irrespective of whether we think our parents did a good job or not, we still honour them out of respect for God
  • It’s not easy being a parent. God doesn’t want us to add to our parents’ grief; He wants us to add to their peace and joy

 

Now we are best to understand the promise there, about things going well with you and enjoying long life, in a general or collective sense

  • The promise of long life and well-being is not so much to individuals
  • The promise relates to the social stability that a community enjoys when children collectively honour their parents
  • A strong family life leads to a healthy society [2]

 

To honour our parents is not exactly the same thing as obeying them, although there is some overlap

  • When our parents ask us to do something that is ‘in Christ’, like take care of your little brother, then obeying them is honouring them
  • But if they ask us to do something that is outside of Christ, like conceal or collude with some kind of evil, then we honour them by not obeying them
  • It is unlikely though that a parent would ask a child to do something evil

 

In the normal course of events honouring our parents has to do with the way we speak to them, the way we talk to others about them and the way care for them, especially as they get older

  • The ideal is to care for our elderly parents ourselves, as they become less able; this might mean supporting them to live in their own home or having them come to stay with us
  • But when that isn’t possible (or wise) we must do the best we can to ensure someone else cares for them, and that includes staying in touch; making time to phone and visit in person
  • We see the way Jesus honoured his mother, Mary, even as he hung on the cross, giving responsibility for her care to someone he trusted, his disciple John

 

Now everyone’s situation is different

  • If your parents were abusive to you and it became unwise or unsafe for you to remain close to them, then what does honour look like?
  • Well, in a word, forgiveness
  • Forgiveness does not mean pretending the abuse never happened
  • Forgiveness requires us to face the truth of what happened, without denial and without exaggeration
  • Forgiveness also requires us to face the truth about ourselves – children can hurt their parents too – we have to take the log out of own eye in order to see clearly
  • Forgiveness does not mean you have to automatically trust the person who hurt you
  • For trust to be restored the other person must change and we can’t change other people, only God can do that
  • Forgiveness is essentially about release – letting go of the hurt and ill feeling we have toward the person who has harmed us
  • Most of the hurts we sustain in family life are small (little cuts) which, if untreated can become infected
  • Whatever the nature of the hurt, there is honour in forgiving it and, where possible, being reconciled
  • Forgiveness honours our parents, it honours our soul and it honours God

 

Let me tell you a story to illustrate what honouring your parents, honouring your soul and honouring God might look like. [3]

  • This story is about a 15 year-old boy we’ll call Jim
  • Jim’s family had never stepped inside a church but Jim had a friend who invited him to youth group
  • Jim enjoyed youth group, mainly because of the food and the girls
  • Then he went to Easter camp. It sounded like it would be fun and his parents were happy to get him out of their hair for the weekend
  • While he was at Easter camp Jim had an encounter with Jesus and became a Christian

The day after he got home Jim said to his parents, ‘Mum and Dad. I’ve met Jesus and I’d like to get baptised.’

  • His parents were alarmed to hear this and told him with raised voices, ‘That’s not going to happen while you live under our roof.’
  • So, in an act of defiance, Jim stomped out of the house and went straight to church

It was the Tuesday following Easter and the youth pastor happened to be there, drying out tents and washing the bus

  • Jim didn’t say anything at first but the youth pastor (as tired as he was after a long weekend with not much sleep) could see the storm on Jim’s face and asked if everything was okay
  • ‘Not really’, said Jim. ‘I told my mum and dad that I wanted to get baptised and they spat the dummy. They think I want to join a cult. I don’t know what to do?’
  • The youth pastor stood still for a moment, looked Jim in the eye and said,
  • “Jim, your parents love you. They might not understand the experience you had at camp, but they still love you.
  • It is good that you want to be baptised but why don’t you wait for a bit; respect their wishes for now, give them a chance to get used to the idea
  • Don’t get baptised in anger against them. Build trust with them. Let them see Jesus in you. Who knows, maybe in a few years they’ll come round. But if not, you can always get baptised when you are bit older.”

Jim wasn’t quite sure he understood everything the pastor was saying, after all he was only 15, but he followed the pastor’s advice, went home (feeling a bit calmer) and respected his parents’ wishes

  • A few weeks later the youth pastor visited Jim’s parents and this gave them assurance that their son wasn’t being brainwashed
  • Jim found it hard to articulate his faith in words to his parents but the new respect he showed them spoke volumes
  • Three years later, at the age of 18, Jim was baptised and his parents and sister came to the service in support
  • During the service Jim gave his testimony and in it he paid tribute to his parents, thanking them for their love and care for him over the years
  • Both his mum and his dad were choking back tears
  • Jim honoured his father & mother, he honoured God and he honoured his own soul

 

Children at any age (whether minors or adults) are to honour their parents and parents (especially fathers) are to nourish their children.

 

Fathers nourish:

I was very fortunate as a child to have both sets of grandparents and I got to spend a fair bit of time with them

  • One Saturday I was at my Nana and Pop’s house and a child (who we didn’t know) came to the door
  • This kid may have been selling raffle tickets or asking to be sponsored for something at school, I don’t remember now, but I do remember my Pop supporting whatever it was they were doing
  • When the child had left my Pop turned to me and said, ‘You never knock a child back’
  • My Pop had received a lot of knocks, as a kid, and it had made him compassionate with children

On another occasion I was at the dairy with my other grandfather – he was buying me an ice-cream

  • While we were there my grandfather noticed a kid waiting outside the door – he was obviously part way through his paper round
  • Even though the paper boy was a complete stranger, my grandfather bought him an ice cream too, a really big one
  • I think my grandfather saw something of himself in the paper boy and wanted to take care of him, to nourish his spirit, to encourage him
  • Now you probably wouldn’t be able to do that today (people might think you were bit creepy) but in the 1970’s that was still an acceptable thing to do, it was considered a kindness

Neither of my grandfather’s went to church (at least when I knew them) and yet they both treated children as the Messiah among us

 

In Ephesians 6, verse 4, Paul changes the focus from the children’s responsibility to the father’s responsibility

 

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

 

Paul’s advice for children to honour and obey their parents was not counter cultural – it was the accepted wisdom of the day

  • But his advice to fathers did challenge the culture
  • William Barclay tells how a Roman father of the first century had complete power over his children [4]
  • He could decide whether they lived or died, he could sell them as slaves or put them to work for himself
  • What’s more, a Roman son never came of age; they were subject to their father’s rule as long as he lived
  • This is not to say that all Roman fathers were abusive – I’m sure some (perhaps most) treated their children with care and consideration
  • The point is, in Paul’s day, fathers held all the power and power invites corruption and abuse
  • Paul’s instruction to fathers is to limit their own power; to control themselves and treat their kids with fairness and tenderness

 

Our society owes a great debt to the influence of Christ and Paul and the church. Without Jesus’ teaching we would probably still be treating children like the Romans did

 

If you are a father, being ‘in Christ’ means not provoking your children to anger, not exasperating them by being unfair.

  • Children have a built in sense of justice – they know instinctively when something isn’t fair
  • Parents are God’s representatives to their children – we need to do all we can to show our kids the goodness of God
  • If we mistreat our children, then we are misrepresenting God to them – we are taking the Lord’s name in vain

 

Now, as I reflect on the cultural context, it occurs to me how different it is to be a father today in NZ, compared with first century Ephesus

  • Roman fathers may have had complete power over their families but NZ dads don’t
  • There has been rapid social change in NZ over the past few decades and, as a consequence, men have had to reconsider (and redefine) their identity and role in the family and in society
  • What does it mean to be a man and what does it mean to be a father?

 

What would Paul say to fathers in NZ today?

  • Perhaps he would say: don’t abdicate your responsibility, don’t bail out, don’t abandon your family, don’t leave it all to mum or the internet
  • You have an important role to play – your kids need you and what they need from you will change as they grow and develop
  • Be present, be patient. Listen to your kids but be honest with them too
  • They need to learn that it is not all about them
  • The Spirit of Jesus is a Spirit of grace and truth; your kids need you to embody that grace & truth

 

The verb ‘bring them up’, in the original Greek, literally means to nourish or to feed. Paul is saying, it is a father’s responsibility to nourish their children so they grow well

  • ‘Nourish’ means feeding a child’s body with wholesome food but it also means feeding a child’s mind with wisdom and their spirit with encouragement (in the right direction)
  • Don’t knock a child back with bad advice or caustic criticism

 

The training and instruction is to be ‘of the Lord’

  • In a nut shell this means parents are to teach their children to love God and to love their neighbour as they love themselves
  • Jesus Christ is the one who shows us how to do this

 

There is another challenge to the cultural norms of Paul’s day in verse 4

  • Notice that Paul uses the gender neutral term children
  • Most writers of Paul’s day would have said ‘bring up your sons’ because girls did not normally receive a formal education; girls were taught household duties
  • Paul was encouraging fathers to teach their daughters as well as their sons at a time when girls were not valued by society
  • In doing this Paul was following the example of Jesus who encouraged equal opportunity, in education, for women
  • In Luke 10 Jesus made room for Mary & Martha to sit at his feet and learn like the men

 

Conclusion:

This morning we’ve heard how children are to honour and obey their parents, while parents (particularly fathers) are to nourish their children, body, soul and spirit

  • But we can’t do that on our own – we need God’s help
  • God has provided help in the form of His Son Jesus
  • We need to keep before us a vision of Christ in community
  • We need to understand that the Messiah is among us

 

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?

2. What difference does it make to realise, the Messiah is among us?

3. Why does Paul say it is right for children to obey their parents?

  • When should we obey our parents?
  • When should we not obey our parents?

4. What does it mean to honour our parents?

  • How did Jesus honour his parents?
  • How do you (personally) honour your parents?

5. Is there a wound in the relationship with your parents (or children)?

  • Do you need to forgive your parents (or children)?
  • Do you need your parents (or children) to forgive you?
  • How might we release the hurt and cleanse the wound?

6. Do you have a story of something good (something nourishing to the soul) that your father or grandfather did? Share your story with someone you trust.

7. What is the role and responsibility of fathers today?

 

[1] Eugene Peterson, ‘Practise Resurrection’, page 233.

[2] Refer John Stott, Ephesians, page 241.

[3] John Stott’s examples in his commentary on Ephesians (page 242) provided the inspiration for the story about Jim

[4] William Barclay’s commentary on Ephesians, page 208.