Be Discerning

Scripture: Proverbs 1:8-19

Video Link: https://youtu.be/Dcc1c-rIOTk

Structure:

• Introduction
• Prepare children for life
• Listen to discern
• Consider the outcome
• Conclusion

Introduction:

Good morning everyone.

Today we begin a new sermon series exploring the Old Testament book of Proverbs. Proverbs offers practical wisdom for living well in this world.

Primarily it gives the ABC’s of wisdom; life skills for beginners. It’s wisdom 101. At a deeper level though, Proverbs also offers insights for those who have been around the block a few times and know the ropes pretty well.

The first nine chapters of Proverbs are essentially a parent’s advice for their son, which fits quite nicely with today being Fathers’ Day. You’ll be pleased to know I don’t intend to cover all nine chapters this morning. Our focus this week is chapter 1, verses 8 to 19, which read…    

⁸ Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. ⁹ They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. ¹⁰ My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them. ¹¹ If they say, “Come along with us; let’s lie in wait for innocent blood, let’s ambush some harmless soul; ¹² let’s swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; ¹³ we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; ¹⁴ throw in your lot with us; we will all share the loot”—¹⁵ my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; ¹⁶ for their feet rush into evil, they are swift to shed blood. ¹⁷ How useless to spread a net where every bird can see it! ¹⁸ These men lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush only themselves! ¹⁹ Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us.

There’s a lot going in these verses. Three points to focus our message today.

A wise person prepares their children for life. A wise person listens critically in order to discern truth from error. And a wise person considers the outcome before committing to a course of action. First, the wisdom of preparing children for life.

Prepare your children for life

When I was about 5 or 6, I used to walk to and from school by myself. It was about 3 kilometers each way. One of the things my mum impressed upon me, before sending me out into the world, was the importance of not accepting a car ride from anyone. She gave this instruction to protect me.   

I took my mother’s advice very seriously. One time a friend of mine was being driven to school by his mum in a Morris Minor and they stopped to offer me a lift. Even though it was quite safe, I was five and lacked discernment so refused the offer and kept walking.   

One of the responsibilities of parenthood is preparing your children for life, particularly life as they will experience it out in the world, after they leave home. The world is not a safe place. It is a mixture of good and bad.

Our children need to know how to tell the difference between good and evil. They need some street smarts both to avoid going down the wrong path and to know when it is safe to accept help.

If we think of parenting styles along a continuum. At one extreme there are those parents who abdicate their responsibility and do little or nothing to prepare their children for the world. Maybe life is busy and there isn’t time to show their kids the way because they are working two or three jobs. Or maybe they just don’t have the skills to know how to prepare their kids.

Parents who abdicate responsibility are basically leaving things to chance. That’s a recipe for learning the hard way.

At the other extreme there are those who become too involved in their kids’ lives and seek to manipulate circumstances so their children are never confronted with the realities of the world.

Perhaps they are rich and can afford to buy their kids out of trouble. Or maybe they are anxious and unconsciously manage their fear by controlling every detail of their children’s lives. (Helicopter parenting.)

Manipulating the situation is not helpful in the long run. If a child’s life has been so protected they never felt the consequences of their choices, they may struggle when reality bites.  

Please understand, it is not my intention to make anyone feel stink here. Parenting is hard and there is enough guilt attached to it already. Most of us are doing the best we can, often under pressure. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don’t. But even if we managed to get everything right, there are still no guarantees. There are many influences on our children these days.  

Wherever we may find ourselves on the spectrum, God is gracious enough to redeem our mistakes and wise enough to work with our choices.  

The middle ground, between abdicating and manipulating, involves educating our kids about the world so they are prepared to make good choices and avoid harm. When we take the time to educate our kids, we demonstrate that we care about them and we trust them. Education is an act of faith and love.  

Proverbs 1-9 imagines a scenario where a father and mother sit down with their son, who is coming of age and about to leave home, in order to make him aware of the dangers in the world so he is able to avoid pitfalls and wrong turns. (So he doesn’t accept rides from the wrong people, in other words.)

Listen critically to discern

Now before we continue I need to acknowledge that, for some here today, the language of Proverbs may be a bit challenging. The instruction is addressed to a ‘son’. Does this mean, daughters are excluded? No, it doesn’t.

I toyed with the idea of making the language more gender neutral; using the word ‘child’ for example. But that’s not what the text actually says. Proverbs was written centuries before the time of Christ in what we (today) might call a patriarchal society.

Generally speaking, men were in charge. Men held most of the power and control. Therefore, men were in a position to do greater harm. So, in that culture, if you instruct young men to act wisely, there is a benefit to all of society, especially women. Because when men behave foolishly it is often women who pay the price.

The principles of Proverbs have a universal application. So, whatever your gender, keep listening and ask yourself, how do the principles in these verses apply to me?

In all fairness, the authors of Proverbs are not sexist misogynist pigs. To the contrary, they had a deep respect for women. As we shall see in the coming weeks, the writers of Proverbs personify wisdom as a woman.

There is value in these verses for people who don’t have children too. You can still be a mentor or a coach. Sometimes younger people are more open to wisdom from an older friend who is not their father or mother.  

The first lesson of wisdom is listen. Listen to your mum and dad. The father’s instruction (or discipline) and the mother’s teaching will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

A garland for your head is a wreath of flowers or leaves representing honour and a chain to adorn your neck is a symbol of power and authority, similar to what a mayor or other important leader might wear.

The point is, if you listen to the good advice of your parents, you will eventually receive honour and respect and influence in the community.  

It should be noted that Proverbs 1 imagines parents who give good advice and who model a good example. Verses 8 and 9 are not suggesting that one should blindly follow their parents’ advice without thinking. Some adults are not fit to give good advice. If your mum or dad are telling you to do something unjust or unkind, then you cannot expect that to result in honour and respect. Find a mentor whose advice you can trust.

The context makes it clear that wisdom requires us to listen critically in order to discern good from evil.  

In verses 10-15, the parents prepare their son to face one of the dangers he might encounter when he leaves home and ventures into the wider world. The temptation to join a gang.

The parents simulate for their son how the conversation is likely to go when a gang member is trying to recruit him. Gangs promise things that young men want. Comradery and a sense of belonging. Security and purpose. Identity and respect.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting those sorts of things. The problem is using violence and injustice as a short cut to gain them. The gang in Proverbs 1 plans to mug some innocent passer-by, to kill them and steal their stuff.

Notice how the wisdom of Proverbs operates on two levels, in these verses.

At the basic level, the advice is don’t get involved with gangs. Be careful about the company you keep. But at a deeper level the young man is being taught not to be gullible. Don’t be foolish enough to believe everything you hear. Listen critically in order to discern. 

If some group starts talking violence, then you know what they are offering is not as good as it sounds. Do not go along with them. Do not give in to peer pressure. Use your brain and be discerning.

You don’t need to join a gang to get a sense of comradery. Committing crimes won’t make you feel secure or earn you respect. There are better ways to meet your need for belonging and purpose; like joining a sports team or a choir or becoming a youth group leader or a volunteer fire fighter or some other form of service that benefits your community.

Now I expect almost everyone here would agree that joining a gang is not a good idea. That’s because we have a choice. The young man in Proverbs 1 comes from a good home with two parents who love him. He has other more life giving options available to him and the financial resources to pursue those options.

Not everyone enjoys the same advantage in life. For some it is not easy to avoid or escape gang land. Some people are trapped in that world and are not free to leave, much less make an informed choice. They might not know any other way to live. So we shouldn’t look down on people who join gangs. There, but for the grace of God, go I. 

So how might we adapt the advice in Proverbs 1 for girls? Because, if you have a daughter, she is not likely to want to join a violent gang. Well, the principle of wisdom in view here is, listen critically in order to discern. Don’t be gullible. Don’t be foolish enough to believe everything you hear.

At the right time your daughter may need help to discern what kind of boys she can trust and what ones to avoid, so her heart is not broken. We can’t always choose who we fall in love with but we can choose to tread lightly and take things slowly. 

When it comes to listening critically in order to discern good from evil, we cannot go past the words of Jesus in Matthew 12, where the Lord says…

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. ³⁵ A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

To put it another way; the Spirit of Jesus is a Spirit of truth and grace. If a person’s conversation lacks truth and grace, then that is surely a red flag. You cannot trust them.

Okay, so Proverbs 1 shows us the important role parents (and mentors) have in preparing children for life. Parents do well when they educate their kids about the dangers they might face in the world and how to navigate those dangers.

More than simply telling kids what to avoid, we need to teach the children in our lives to listen critically in order to discern good from evil for themselves. That means modelling a helpful example in our own conversation.

Consider the outcome

The third principle of wisdom to focus our message today, is the importance of considering the outcome before committing to a course of action. Where is this decision leading me?

In verses 16-19, the parents paint a picture for their son of the outcome of getting involved with a gang. Violence begets violence. You reap what you sow. Verse 17 is the first real proverb of the book: How useless to spread a net where every bird can see it!

In ancient times the net was strewn with seeds and the bird was caught when the hunter pulled the draw string. For the trap to work though, the bird has to be unaware there is a trap.

The proverb in verse 17 operates on more than one level. If we imagine the bird is the son, then the proverb asserts the young man should see and avoid the verbal net of the gang members who are trying to recruit him.

However, if we imagine the bird is the gang of thieves, then the thieves are setting a trap for themselves without realizing it. In their hurry to assault an innocent passer-by, the gang is running into the trap they have set for others.      

But what if we are the bird? Most of us would probably say, ‘Joining a gang does not tempt me. I would never fall for that trick’. And therein lies the trap for us. The proverb reminds us the bird is trapped because it is unaware of the danger. If we think the proverb doesn’t really apply to us, then we too are unaware of the danger and therefore at risk of being caught.

Sure, not many here would want to become a patched member of a criminal gang but gangs come in many different forms. In the book of Genesis, we read how Joseph’s ten older brothers formed a gang to kidnap Joseph and sell him into slavery. Have you ever ganged up on someone in your family?

Have you ever been tempted to join a gang of gossips who do violence to other people’s reputation? Have you ever been tempted to join a gang of white collar businessmen by investing in companies which are unethical?

Thinking globally, some might say Putin’s army is just a really big gang with heavy fire power, mugging the country of Ukraine. Most Russians probably don’t see it that way though.

What if our standard of living (here in the West) is generated at great cost to the rest of the world? What if the clothes I’m wearing have been made in a sweat shop by modern day slaves? What if we are involved in an economic system that essentially functions like a gang in exploiting the poor and we don’t even realize it?

If that is the case, then we are like the bird in the trap. Or to use a different metaphor, we are sawing off the branch on which we are sitting.

The point of the proverb is to get us to open our eyes to the outcome of our actions. Violence and injustice, in any form, is foolish because it destroys the innocent and the perpetrator. No one wins.

Before you become too overwhelmed by the reach of Proverbs 1, let me bring the application of these verses closer to home. We have a responsibility to help the children and young people in our lives to think about the outcome before making a decision.    

For example: Where is this social media thread taking me? What is going to happen if I break the conditions of my restricted license? What is my escape plan if I’m at a party and find myself in a situation I don’t feel comfortable with? What are the consequences of having another drink? What is the likely outcome of giving my heart to this boy or that girl?

You get the point. We can’t chaperon our kids everywhere they go. We can’t shield them indefinitely. But we can encourage them to be discerning listeners and to think about the outcome of their choices.

Conclusion

So how does Jesus fit with all of this?

Jesus is the wisdom of God. Jesus embodies practical wisdom for living well. If we want to be wise, we need to look to Christ. 

In and through Jesus we find a quality of belonging, security, identity and purpose that is more meaningful and more lasting than any gang could offer.

And when we make poor choices and find ourselves trapped, like the bird in the proverb, Jesus is able to set us free.

May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ give us the spirit of wisdom so we may know him better. Amen.

Questions for discussion or reflection:

What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?

• How does the father in Proverbs 1:8-19 go about educating his son? What helpful things did your parents do to prepare you for life? What wasn’t so helpful?

• How might the principles in Proverbs 1:8-19 apply to daughters? Can you think of actual examples from your own experience?

• Why is the first lesson of wisdom to listen? How do we discern good from evil?       

• Why are gangs attractive to (some) young men? What other more positive ways can a young person meet their need for belonging and purpose, etc.?

• Why is it important to consider the outcome before committing to a course of action? How might we help the children and young people in our lives to think about the outcome before making a decision? 

• What is the meaning of the Proverb in verse 17? Discuss / reflect on the various ways this proverb could apply to us today. How do we avoid getting trapped in the net?

• How does Jesus fit with (inform/fulfil) Proverbs 1:8-19?