Tawa Baptist

Jealous Love

Scripture: 1st Thessalonians 3:1-13

Video Link: https://youtu.be/6GVYmiFNkE0

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Paul’s vulnerability
  • Paul’s jealous love
  • Paul’s desire
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Good morning everyone.

Roller coasters. You either love them or hate them. There’s no middle ground. I’m definitely not a fan. My cousins and I were thrown off the Sizzler when we were kids and it left its mark.

Unfortunately, our children don’t share my mistrust of roller coasters and so, when they were younger, I reluctantly had to accompany them on these sorts of rides. They had a great time. Me? Not so much.

Someone once told me, never get on the roller coaster with your kids. They were speaking metaphorically. They meant don’t get carried away with whatever drama is happening in their life. Don’t let their emotions dictate your mood.

This person meant well but parenthood doesn’t work like that. If your kids are seriously ill or being treated unfairly or if they achieve some success, then you feel it with them. If you love anyone, you will be affected by what they go through. You are on the roller coaster with them whether you like it or not.       

Today we resume our series in Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, focusing on chapter 3. You may remember how, in chapter 2, Paul had affirmed the Thessalonians’ faith, belonging and relationship. In today’s reading, we see that Paul has been on a roller coaster with the Thessalonians, his spiritual children. He gets a bit emotional and expresses his feelings.   

From verse 1 of First Thessalonians chapter 3 we read…

So when we could stand it no longer, we thought it best to be left by ourselves in Athens 2 We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them. 4 In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. 5 For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter had tempted you and that our labours might have been in vain. 6 But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you. 7 Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. 8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. 9 How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you? 10 Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith. 11 Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you. 12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us.

Three things we note here: Paul’s vulnerability, Paul’s jealous love for the Thessalonians, and Paul’s heartfelt desire. First let’s consider Paul’s vulnerability.

Paul’s vulnerability:

Elton John wrote a song in tribute to Marilyn Munroe. It was later adapted for Princess Diana. In the chorus he sings: And you lived your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to turn to when the rain set in…

The image of a candle in the wind, is the very picture of vulnerability. 

To be vulnerable is to be unprotected, in a precarious position, exposed or at risk of harm. When you love someone, when you care about them deeply, your heart is vulnerable, you are on the roller coaster with them whether you like it or not. Likewise, when you need someone to love you, your heart is vulnerable, like a candle in the wind.

In his book, The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis writes…

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Paul understood vulnerability well. Before his conversion, Paul was hard hearted and hell bent on persecuting the followers of Jesus. But Jesus transformed Paul’s heart. Jesus made Paul vulnerable to God’s grace.    

The word vulnerability is not explicitly mentioned in today’s reading and none of the commentaries I read talked about it specifically so you may well wonder, how exactly is Paul vulnerable?

Well, it is both the tone of his writing here and the way in which he is so open with the Thessalonians about his feelings. Paul, the intellectual and theological giant, is wearing his heart on his sleeve and being honest about his need for them.

In verse 1 of chapter 3 Paul says, when we could stand it no longer… And in verse 5 he repeats this same line, only more personally saying, when I could stand it no longer. The thing Paul couldn’t stand here was not knowing how the Thessalonians were getting on. He was anxious for their wellbeing. But Paul also needed to know that the Thessalonians loved him.

Why was Paul so anxious? Why was he feeling so vulnerable? Because he had opened his heart to the Thessalonians and let them in.

In verse 8 of chapter 2 Paul actually says: We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. Love anything and it will make you vulnerable.       

Paul had a lot riding on the Thessalonians. If they threw in the towel of their faith then not only would Paul’s work with them be in vain, he personally would feel like he had lost family members. The Thessalonians were his spiritual children. He was like a mother and a father to them in the faith. If they had given up on their faith, Paul would have been devastated.

But Paul is not devastated. Quite the opposite. From verse 8 of chapter 3 Paul writes…

8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. 9 How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?

Before Paul received news that the Thessalonians were doing well, he was beside himself with worry over them. He couldn’t stand not knowing.

And when you feel vulnerable like that, you can’t really enjoy anything. You just sort of get by on a knife’s edge. Now that Paul knows they’re okay, that he hasn’t lost them, he can really live. In other words, he can enjoy life again.

The thing with being vulnerable is that it doesn’t always feel pleasant at the time. Vulnerability can feel risky, or unsafe, like you are not in control. The vulnerability of love requires faith.

Even though it feels risky, allowing yourself to be vulnerable with another person opens the door to intimacy, to closeness. Vulnerability creates a bridge, a connection. Vulnerability, when it is well placed, is the antidote to loneliness.

But we need to be discerning about who we choose to be vulnerable with. As Jesus said, don’t throw your pearls before swine. Don’t open up the treasures of your heart to someone who is going to treat those treasures cheaply.      

And, if someone shares something with you that makes them vulnerable, handle that pearl with gentleness and care. Be worthy of that person’s trust.

Paul was vulnerable with the Thessalonians and he loved them with a jealous love.

Paul’s jealous love:

For many people, jealousy is a bad word. We have a tendency to collapse jealousy and envy into one. But they are not the same thing.

Jealousy is when we feel like something we already possess is at risk of being taken away from us. In contrast, envy is the desire to have something that does not belong to us.

Can you see the difference? Jealousy has to do with losing something that is rightfully ours, whereas envy is about coveting what is not ours. 

Jealousy can sometimes cause us to behave in ways which are resentful or vindictive. But jealousy can also move us to do good things. Jealousy gives us courage to protect what we love and determination to restore what we have lost.

God describes himself as jealous. You probably know Jesus’ parable of the shepherd who went looking for the lost sheep. The shepherd left the 99 to find the one that was lost. That is a picture of God’s jealous love. His drive (or his zeal) to restore and protect what he loves and what rightfully belongs to him.

Jealousy is not necessarily a bad thing. It is a powerful energy that needs to be channelled for other people’s wellbeing.

When I was a child my grandparents took me with them on holiday to the beach. We stayed in a remote part of the Bay of Islands, up north, surrounded by bush, beaches and sea. My grandfather taught me to fish and to shoot. It was a boy’s paradise.

One day (I was about 7 or 8 at the time) my grandfather and I were doing some target practice with a .22 calibre rifle. Not a very powerful gun, but useful for shooting rabbits and possums and other cute furry animals that would otherwise destroy the environment.  

Anyway, while we were doing our target practice, a woman emerged out of the tea tree scrub yelling at us. She was angry; I’m mean next level angry, telling us in no uncertain terms to stop shooting at her family. She was mistaken. We were not shooting at anyone. Her family were never in any danger. My grandfather was very careful with guns. 

I guess, because we were on a hill, the rifle shots could be heard echoing around the bay and she thought the worst, that her family were under attack. As it transpired this mother had walked about three kilometres over rocks, through dense bush and up a very steep hill to protect her children.

And she did this knowing that the people she was intending to confront had a loaded gun. Incredible determination and courage. As I reflect on that event now, I realise this mother was exhibiting jealous love for her family. She was willing to risk her life to protect them.

We put the gun away for a few days and she walked back into the bush from whence she came, never to be seen again.

Nowhere in today’s reading from Thessalonians do we find the word jealousy, but we do come across the word love a couple of times. In any case it is clear, from the feelings and actions Paul reveals, that he loved the Thessalonians with a jealous love, like the mother in my story.

Verse 5 reads…

For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter had tempted you and that our labours might have been in vain.

The believers in Thessalonica were brand new Christians and Paul had not had a chance to complete their basic training. They were like Macualay Culkin, in Home Alone, having to fend for themselves in a hostile environment. And Paul was like a stressed and anxious parent, worried how they were getting on.

So Paul sent Timothy (his right hand man) back to Thessalonica. It’s about 500kms from Athens to Thessalonica, which takes a day in a train. But it probably took Timothy over two weeks, each way, on foot.

The New Zealand women’s cricket team (the White Ferns) are playing Australia at the Basin today. Australia are the team to beat.

Quite often, when you are at the cricket, you see people wearing captain’s hats. At first I just thought it was a group of mates dressing up the same. But then I kept seeing these captain’s hats at other games around the country. It wasn’t until I heard someone say: ‘Steady the ship’, that the penny dropped. 

The fans wear captain’s hats to ‘steady the ship’. It is a message of support to the batsman to not throw their wicket away. Stay calm, take it easy. Believe in the leave. You can’t score runs back in the pavilion.

As much as Paul wanted Timothy to stay with him in Athens, his jealous love for the Thessalonians was greater. The new believers in Thessalonica were getting a hard time for becoming Christians. Timothy’s visit was intended to steady the ship. That is, to strengthen and encourage the young believers in their faith.

In verses 2 to 5 Paul talks about persecution and trials and being tempted to abandon Christ.    

Paul says they were destined for these trials and that he kept telling them to expect persecution. This fits with the teaching of Jesus who said it would not be easy following him.

We, in New Zealand today, are not persecuted like the Thessalonians were. But that doesn’t mean we get off Scott free. Our beliefs and values sometimes put us at odds with the wider society in which we live.

But even if society agreed with and supported Christian faith, we would still face testing in some form. It seems to be necessary for faith development, like putting cake mixture in a hot oven is necessary for baking the cake.

What we find is that our faith is usually tested when we are at our weakest and not when we expect it. Temptation is never fair.

Two of the gospels tell us how Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days. It was necessary for Jesus to go through this and overcome.

Unlike Jesus, we don’t always overcome when we are tempted. But the good news is that Jesus has done for us what we are not able to do for ourselves. We may lose the odd battle with temptation but that should not discourage or defeat us, for Jesus has won the war.

If we do trip and fall, it does not mean we are out. The Lord is gracious and compassionate. We admit our mistakes, pick ourselves up and carry on in the faith. It’s like Winston Churchill said: Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. 

Much to Paul’s relief the Thessalonians did not give in to the temptation to abandon their faith. When Timothy returned with the good news that the Thessalonians’ faith and love were strong and that they longed to see Paul as well, Paul was greatly encouraged.

Paul’s desire:

Wrapped up with Paul’s jealous love and vulnerability is Paul’s heartfelt desire for the Thessalonians. From verse 10 we read… 

 10 Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.

Prayer isn’t just the words we say to God. The essence of prayer is our heartfelt desire. Words may give expression to that desire but so might our tears or our sighs or our groaning or our laughter.

Paul’s heartfelt desire is to be reunited with his spiritual children, not just for his own comfort but more to supply what is lacking in their faith.

John Stott sheds light on the meaning of ‘supplying what is lacking’. If we think of the Thessalonian’s faith as a fishing net, then Paul is like a fisherman who wants to repair the net. Or, if we think of the Thessalonian’s faith as a broken leg, then Paul is like a surgeon who desperately wants to set the bone properly.  

Or to use another metaphor, the Thessalonians have made a great start to their Christian faith journey, but they need a few more essential supplies in order to stay on the right track, like a map and a compass and a torch.

Paul doesn’t just talk about praying; he can’t help but actually break into a spontaneous prayer for the Thessalonians from verse 11…

11 Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you. 12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.

Verse 11 describes Paul’s desire to see the Thessalonians in person again.

Verse 12 describes Paul’s desire for the Thessalonians’ love to increase, something only the Lord can do.

And verse 13 describes Paul’s desire for the Thessalonians to grow in holiness, from the inside out. (From the heart.)

Holiness is an unpopular word these days. It gets a bad rap. People tend to associate holiness with being superior or thinking you are better than others. Like that expression, ‘holier than thou’.

But that’s not a fair or accurate description. Holiness is about wholeness. When we hear the word holiness, we should think health & wellbeing, strength and integrity. We should associate holiness with love, because the two go together.  They complement each other.      

At home in our garden we have a tomato plant. It was only about two or three inches high when I first planted it, just tiny. Since then it has grown a bit and we now have some fruit.

At first I didn’t need to put a stake next to it because when the plant was small it could stand by itself. But now it has grown it needs a stake (alongside) to support it. And with all the dry weather we are having lately it needs to be watered pretty regularly too.

Perhaps the Thessalonians were like my tomato plant. They needed the water of love and the stake of holiness in order to be healthy & whole, fruitful & strong.

Conclusion:

This morning we’ve heard about Paul’s vulnerability, his jealous love and his heartfelt desire for the Thessalonians. All of these are an expression of Paul’s deep care for the Thessalonians.

Whose roller coaster are you on at the moment? Who is making you feel vulnerable? Who is triggering your jealous love? Who is occupying space in your heart?

Is it your partner in marriage? Your kids? Your parents? A friend? An enemy? A workmate? The people of Ukraine? The people in your neighbourhood?

What do they need? What do you need?

Let us pray…

Loving Father, you see what is in our hearts. You know our vulnerability. You understand our fears and our desires. In you we have all we need. Fill us with your Spirit of love and holiness, so that we may care well for others and for ourselves. Through Jesus we pray. Amen.

Questions for discussion or reflection:

What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?

  • Do you enjoy roller coasters? Why (or why not)?
  • Why was Paul feeling so vulnerable in relation to the Thessalonians? What does he do with this feeling of vulnerability? How does he express it? How might we know when we are feeling vulnerable? How might we express our feelings of vulnerability in a healthy way? 
  • What is the difference between jealousy and envy? Can you think of an event in your own life when jealous love was triggered in you? What happened? How did you respond? How might we channel our feelings of jealousy for the wellbeing of others?
  • What is the essence of prayer? In what ways can we express our prayers to God?
  • What was Paul’s heartfelt desire for the Thessalonians? (in verses 11-13) Why do you think Paul puts love and holiness together? How do love & holiness complement each other?
  • Whose roller coaster are you on at the moment? Who is making you feel vulnerable? Who is triggering your jealous love? Who is occupying space in your heart? What do they need? What do you need?