Grieving With Hope

Scripture: Genesis 49:29-50:14

Video Link: https://youtu.be/___6tWI6qGM

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Grief
  • Hope
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Good morning everyone.

If you have ever been on a long road trip with children you will have heard the chorus, ‘Are we there yet’. Some journeys seem to take forever. More than a few of you are probably thinking, are we there yet, with this current sermon series on the life of Joseph.

We started back at the beginning of February and now, nearly six months later, we are still going. Fear not. Today’s message is the second to last in this series. This week’s sermon focuses on the death and burial of Joseph’s father, Jacob. It’s about grieving with hope. From Genesis 49, verse 29, we read… 

29 Then he [Jacob] gave them these instructions: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, 30 the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 31 There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah. 32 The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites.” 33 When Jacob had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people. Joseph threw himself on his father and wept over him and kissed him. Then Joseph directed the physicians in his service to embalm his father, Israel. So the physicians embalmed him, taking a full forty days, for that was the time required for embalming. And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days. When the days of mourning had passed, Joseph said to Pharaoh’s court, “If I have found favour in your eyes, speak to Pharaoh for me. Tell him, ‘My father made me swear an oath and said, “I am about to die; bury me in the tomb I dug for myself in the land of Canaan.” Now let me go up and bury my father; then I will return.’” Pharaoh said, “Go up and bury your father, as he made you swear to do.” So Joseph went up to bury his father. All Pharaoh’s officials accompanied him—the dignitaries of his court and all the dignitaries of Egypt— besides all the members of Joseph’s household and his brothers and those belonging to his father’s household. Only their children and their flocks and herds were left in Goshen. Chariots and horsemenalso went up with him. It was a very large company. 10 When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father. 11 When the Canaanites who lived there saw the mourning at the threshing floor of Atad, they said, “The Egyptians are holding a solemn ceremony of mourning.” That is why that place near the Jordan is called Abel Mizraim. 12 So Jacob’s sons did as he had commanded them: 13 They carried him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre, which Abraham had bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 14 After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, together with his brothers and all the others who had gone with him to bury his father.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us.

In this reading we are shown how Joseph and his brothers grieve for their father Jacob and how Jacob binds his sons to hope. Let us begin with Joseph’s grieving process.

Grief:

Grief is the natural response to loss. If you lose someone or something important, then you will experience grief in proportion to the magnitude of your loss. Or, to say it another way, grief is the price we pay for love.

Grief is like a vomiting bug. Except with grief, you are not throwing up the contents of your stomach. You are throwing up the contents of your soul. Your anger and pain, your hurt and sadness. Releasing these feelings is necessary to the healing process, but it’s not pleasant.

Grief comes in waves. You are not in control. Just when you think you are okay, you throw up again, ambushed by tears or rage or both. After a while, you feel empty, tired, exhausted, spent. It takes time to recover your strength. Time before you are ready to risk enjoying life again.

When Jacob dies, Joseph throws himself upon his father and weeps. Joseph knows Jacob’s death is coming and so he skips the initial shock that often accompanies the news of significant loss. There is no stiff upper lip with Joseph. He lets his feelings out in the form of tears.

Tears are a kind of natural anesthetic. They are nature’s pain killer. If you cry for several minutes, from emotional pain, the body releases feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins.

Sobbing also helps to improve your mood by reducing the temperature of your brain. It calms you. More than this, when other people see you crying, they are likely to give you support or at least not be mean to you.       

After having a good cry, Joseph directs the physicians to embalm his father. Embalming was more of an Egyptian thing than a Hebrew thing.

It was a way of slowing the rate of decay, to preserve the body. From a practical point of view, this was necessary for transporting Jacob’s body to Canaan. 

When we experience significant loss, it can feel quite scary, like we have no control in the situation. To prevent ourselves from being overwhelmed by fear it helps to do something that gives us a feeling of mastery or control. Like mowing the lawns or cleaning the shower or baking a cake.

By directing people to embalm his father’s body, Joseph was able to buy a little more time and regain a quantum of control in the face of death.

Can you remember what you were doing on the 31 August 1997? It was the day Princess Diana died. It seemed like the whole world stopped. Yes, we were sad for Diana’s loss and for her sons, William and Harry. But it was more than that.

Diana’s death touched something in our collective unconscious, so that people everywhere felt they had permission to grieve their own personal losses. It was a time of lament for all the things in this world that are not as they are meant to be.

In verse 3 of Genesis 50, we read how the Egyptians mourn for Jacob for seventy days. That’s ten weeks. Whenever one of the pharaoh’s died, the nation would mourn for 72 days. Jacob gets almost the same honour and respect as a pharaoh.

It seems that Jacob’s death touched something in the collective unconscious of the Egyptian people. Most of them would not have known Jacob personally but they knew Joseph had saved them and without Jacob there would be no Joseph.

Jacob’s passing was not untimely, as Diana’s was. But perhaps, like the passing of Diana, it provided an opportunity for people everywhere to mourn their own losses.   

Grief is a heavy weight to carry. Honouring the people we have lost is an important part of the grieving process. It is necessary to acknowledge the truth that this person matters to me. Their loss is no small thing.

We honour the people we have lost by taking time to plan their memorial service. By speaking good words, true words, in memory of their life. And by not rushing back to a busy schedule too quickly. Giving ourselves time to heal. Slowing down and leaving room to feel our loss and express our grief.   

After the 70 days of national mourning have passed, Joseph gets permission to bury his father in the land of Canaan, as Jacob had requested.

It is difficult to know what to say when someone dies. We want to give words of comfort to those who are grieving, but no words are adequate.

Sometimes all we have to offer is our presence, which is precisely what Pharaoh’s officials give. They take time to accompany Joseph on his journey, so he is not alone. They show up to the funeral.

When Joseph and his brothers finally arrive in Canaan to bury Jacob’s body they lament loudly and bitterly, observing a seven-day period of mourning. This is at least three months after Jacob has died. Grief isn’t something we get over quickly. Grief keeps its own unpredictable schedule. It is a process punctuated by deeply felt emotion. 

Verse 13 of Genesis 50 gives a very specific location for Jacob’s burial plot. This is the second time in today’s reading we are given this geographical reference. It shows that Jacob’s sons were obedient in carrying out Jacob’s dying wishes.

It also provides a marker for future generations. This urupa (cemetery) is sacred ground. A symbol of Israel’s stake in the land.

Hope:

Some things on your dinner plate are not that pleasant to eat on their own. Take broccoli for example. You can eat broccoli by itself, but it tastes better with a bit of grated cheese on top. Likewise, mashed potato is okay on its own, but it really goes better with some gravy.

Grief on its own is like broccoli without cheese or mashed potato without gravy. Grief needs to be topped with hope.

We’ve heard how Joseph handled his grief. Now let’s consider how Jacob bound his sons to hope. 

Hope is like cherry blossoms in spring; reminding us that summer is coming. Or, to say it more plainly, hope is the belief that good things wait for us in the future.

Hope is not blind. Hope is a beautiful thing to behold. Hope sees the blossoms with the eyes of faith. While you can’t eat the blossoms, you know from experience they are a sign of summer fruit to come.

Hope is like a kite; it rises against the wind. Hope cannot fly without some opposition or difficulty. When life is easy, we have no need for hope.

Of course, for the kite to work, you need to hold on to it. Faith is the string that keeps us connected to our hope. When we believe that God has good things in store for us, our heart dances with joy, like a kite on the breeze.   

Hope is like a sail; it moves you forward. But for the sail of hope to work, you must raise it. Just as sailors need to take care of their sails, so too we need to take care of our hope.

Wise faith is the act of raising and trimming your sails to suit the conditions, so the boat doesn’t capsize and the sail doesn’t tear.

Hope is like a harness; it catches your fall. If you are abseiling down a rock face or being winched to safety by a rescue helicopter or gliding to earth with a parachute, the harness holds you and keeps you secure.

Obviously, for the harness to work, you need to stay attached to it.

Faith is wearing your harness. Faith and hope save you.   

As we heard earlier, Jacob instructs his sons to bury his body in the land of Canaan, where his parents and grandparents were buried. Jacob is living in Egypt at this point. A journey by camel to Palestine is no small thing. It would take weeks; it would be tiring and it would involve risk.

So why does Jacob put his sons out like this? Well, Jacob means to bind his sons to God’s promise.

You see, God had promised Jacob he would give the land of Canaan to Jacob’s descendants. In Genesis 48 and 49, Jacob speaks words of blessing and destiny to his sons. These words were intended to bind the next generation and those that follow to God’s promise.

Jacob’s request to be buried in Canaan is another way in which he harnesses his family to God’s promise and the hope that gives.

Death is an ending and it is often sad and emotionally painful for those left behind. What Jacob’s sons need, at this time, is to see the blossoms of hope. They need to know that God has good in store for them. And that good is the land of Canaan.

It’s like Jacob is handing the kite of hope to the next generation and saying, ‘Take this and hold on. Let the joy of what is to come dance in your heart, even as you grieve my passing’.

The people of Israel would live in Egypt for another 400 years before leaving that country in a great exodus. Hope is the sail that would transport them. Jacob wants his descendants to raise the sail of hope and keep it trimmed through the long years that lie ahead.

Some of you may have seen a film called The Way. The movie tells the story of Dr Thomas Avery who goes to France to collect the body of his son, Daniel, who died in the Pyrenees while walking the Camino de Santiago (the Way of St James).

Tom’s initial purpose was to retrieve his son’s body. But once over there he decides to walk the Camino, taking his son’s ashes with him. While on the trail Tom meets other pilgrims all looking for greater meaning in their lives.

Sometimes when we are grieving, we can isolate ourselves (emotionally) from others. We may become more grumpy and irritable than usual. More cold and prickly. This has the effect of driving people away.

It’s a self-protection thing. When we are in pain, we don’t want to let people get too close in case they touch our sore spots or remind us of our loss. What we really need though is some tenderness and love. We need people who will understand and see passed our changing moods. 

Tom starts the journey cold and closed off to his fellow travelers. He is distant and pushes them away. But they seem to understand, and they hang in with him until eventually he opens up. The pilgrimage through Spain becomes a way for Tom to work out his grief. 

A pilgrimage, such as Jacob asked his sons to take, can be a powerful thing. It changes the soul somehow. Grief is like a pilgrimage; it’s the journey of letting go of our hurt, pain and anger and taking hold of hope. The destination is acceptance.

By asking his sons to repatriate his body in Canaan, Jacob is (perhaps) giving his family a way to process their grief and find a common hope, together. Jacob is showing his sons, this is your homeland. This is where you belong. This is the purpose and hope for your descendants.

The word land is the fourth most common noun used in the Old Testament, after God, Yahweh and Israel. Clearly, real estate was important to the people of Israel.

But when we get to the New Testament, the word land hardly gets mentioned. Jesus had more to say about the kingdom of God and eternal life.  

As followers of Jesus, our destination, our hope, is not to own a quarter acre section in the middle east or even in Tawa. Our hope is to fully enter God’s kingdom, the kingdom of heaven.

We are bound to that hope by faith in Jesus. Faith and hope in Jesus are our sail and our harness. This life is our Camino.    

Conclusion:

As I look out at this congregation, I am conscious of the losses many of you have experienced and the grief you carry.

Many of you have outlived husbands or wives. Some of you have lost parents, at a young age, and others have lost children. A number of you have survived divorce or cancer or something else. It seems none of us are untouched by suffering in this life.

In preaching on a passage like this I don’t mean to open old wounds.

We each need to know we are not alone in our grief. Although grief pierces the human heart in different ways, the experience of loss is felt by everyone eventually. Others before you have walked the way of grief and have found hope.  

Jesus is a witness to your grief and pain. He sees what others don’t see. May Jesus (who himself suffered more than we can imagine), may he honour you for the grace and the courage and faithfulness you have shown. And may the joy of resurrection fill your sails and bring you home. Amen.  

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?
  2. What losses have you experienced in life? How have these losses affected you?
  3. How did Joseph handle his grief? How do you handle your grief?
  4. What did the Egyptians do to support Joseph in his grief? What can we do to support other people in their grief?
  5. Discuss / reflect on the images of hope offered above. That is, hope is like cherry blossoms in spring, like a kite, like a sail, like a harness. What other images come to mind when you think about hope?
  6. Why did Jacob ask his sons to bury his body in Canaan?
  7. Israel’s hope was bound up with the land. As Christians, what (or who) is our hope bound to? 

Lament

Scripture: Psalm 137

Title: Lament

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Lament seeks company
  • Lament remembers identity
  • Lament protests honestly
  • Lament vents anger
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

On the wall here we have a list of songs…

–         Small Bump by Ed Sheeran

–         I don’t want to talk about it by Crazy Horse

–         Candle in the wind by Elton John

–         I don’t like Mondays by Boomtown Rats

–         Pride (In the name of love) by U2

–         And Psalm 137 by an unknown artist

Can anyone tell me what these songs have in common? [Let people respond]

–         That’s right, they are all songs of lament

Small bump is a song about a miscarriage

–         I don’t want to talk about it was inspired by a relationship break up

–         Candle in the wind is a lament for Marilyn Munroe

–         I don’t like Mondays is about the 1979 elementary (primary) school shootings in San Diego

–         Pride (In the name of love) remembers the assassination of the Rev Martin Luther King Junior on the 4th April 1968

–         And Psalm 137 was sung by survivors of the Babylonian exile after the fall of Jerusalem in 586 BC

–         All these songs of lament are tied to an event in history – they remember something that actually happened

 

Today we continue our series on well-being and care of the soul, using the acronym: HEALING.

–         Each letter represents a word which, when properly applied, is life giving to the human soul…

–         Hope Energy Appreciation Lament Inter-dependence Nurture & Giving

–         Today our message focuses on lament

Lament is a way of expressing the sad, bitter, angry & painful truth of what we are feeling inside – it is an articulation of grief

–         At its best lament takes a stink, yucky feeling, and does something creative with it

Last Sunday I said appreciation is about acknowledging value

–         Lament is also about acknowledging what is valuable to us

–         Lament is very close to appreciation – it’s the flip side of the same coin

–         The main difference is the circumstances

–         Appreciation has its roots in enjoyment while lament has its roots in loss

–         We wouldn’t have cause for lament if we didn’t value what we had lost

 

The Old Testament is peppered with laments – people grieving with raw honesty, pouring out their rage and sadness before God

–         Apparently God is big enough to handle it

Psalm 137 is one example of lament in the Bible. From verse 1 we read…

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the poplars we hung our harps, for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion.” How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land?

If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.

Remember, O Lord, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations.” O daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. 

May the Spirit of Jesus give us grace to face our pain and find our truth

This morning we will touch on four aspects of lament…

–         Lament seeks company

–         Lament remembers identity

–         Lament protests honestly, and

–         Lament vents anger

 

Lament seeks company:

First let’s consider how lament seeks company

–         I’d like to play you part of a song that was originally written in 1971 by the band Crazy Horse and later made famous by Rod Stewart…

“I can tell by your eyes that you’ve probably been cryin’ for ever,

And the stars in the sky don’t mean nothing to you, they’re a mirror.

I don’t want to talk about it, how you broke my heart

But if I stay here just a little bit longer, if I stay here, won’t you listen to my heart, whoa my heart.”

In this song the singer is lamenting the death of a relationship

–         He’s been dumped by his girlfriend and it hurts bad

–         He doesn’t want to talk about it because there are no words to do justice to his pain

–         But he doesn’t want to be alone either – he wants someone to sit with him and listen to his heart – he wants a witness to his suffering

–         Lament seeks company

 

Grief is the price we pay for love

–         The more we love the greater our grief when we lose the one we love

–         When we grieve alone or without being understood it is harder somehow

–         Having someone listen to our heart (to our pain) acknowledges that what we are feeling is real and it matters – it gives meaning to the loss and it affirms our inherent value as human beings

There is a certain feeling of powerlessness when we sit with those who have suffered loss

–         We want to fix things, we want to have the right words to say to make everything better – but words fail us

–         Often what the other person needs is our presence and our listening

–         Simply being there says this matters and you are important

 

In psalm 137 the singer is lamenting the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians

in 586 B.C. and the resulting exile

–         Many people were killed and most of those who survived were forcibly marched to a foreign land and detained there

–         It was a humanitarian disaster

Worse than this though the survivors probably felt like God had dumped them, rejected them, abandoned them

–         The temple, the centre of worship, the symbol of God’s presence, the very hub that held the wheel of their society together, had been destroyed

–         The people were heart broken

–         The relative shortness of the psalm, and the details they leave out, suggest they didn’t want to talk about it – there were no words to do justice to their pain

–         But they did want a witness to their suffering – what they had lost was too important to be ignored

–         Lament seeks company and lament remembers identity

 

Lament remembers identity:

Have you noticed how many people have tattoos these days – skin art has become quite popular

–         People get tattoos for a number of reasons I suppose, often as a statement of identity but also sometimes to show their commitment to the memory of someone they’ve lost

–         A tattoo is like an outward visible scar, symbolising the inner scar on the heart that no one can see

A few years ago now some friends of ours lost a child at birth and shortly after the father of the child had the face of his baby tattooed on his shoulder – like a constant reminder

–         You sometimes see people with the names and birth dates of their loved ones tattooed on their arms

–         Getting a tattoo is a pretty big commitment – tattoos are for life, unless you go through the very painful process of getting them removed

–         Now I’m not recommending getting a tattoo as a form of lament

–         But nor do I wish to make any judgement about it – I can understand why someone who has suffered significant loss might do it

–         To remember and to show their commitment to one they have lost

 

The writer of Psalm 137 says…

–         If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.

This is actually an oath of commitment to remember Jerusalem

–         As a musician, losing skill in your right hand and having your tongue cling to the roof of your mouth, would mean not being able to play the harp or sing ever again – so this is a serious commitment to remember

But it’s not just the city the psalmist is remembering, it’s what the city represents – their home and their unique identity as God’s special people

–         This commitment by the exiles to remember where they have come from is a way of preserving their Jewish identity and saving themselves from cultural assimilation in a strange land

You see, when we suffer significant loss our identity is threatened

–         People who go through a divorce, for example, often have to rediscover who they are without their husband or wife, or without their mum or dad

–         Parents who lose a child may feel like they have lost a part of themselves – am I still a father or a mother if my child is dead?

–         Refugees, forced to flee their homeland and start life in a new country where the language and the customs and everything is different, often seek to preserve what they can of their culture to stop themselves from losing any more of who they are

 

Lament is like a tattoo on our heart – it involves a strong commitment to our identity, to remembering who we are, after our loss

 

Lament seeks company

–         Lament remembers identity, and

–         Lament protests honestly

 

Lament protests honestly:

The opposite of lament is denial – pretending everything is okay when it isn’t

–         Lament is a statement that things are not right with the world

–         Let’s listen to another lament now – this one is by the band U2…

“I can’t believe the news today, I can’t close my eyes and make it go away.

How long, how long must we sing this song? How long, how long?

Cause tonight, we can be as one tonight.

Broken bottles under children’s feet. Bodies strewn across the dead end street.

But I won’t heed the battle call, it puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall. Sunday bloody Sunday. Sunday bloody Sunday. Sunday bloody Sunday.

And the battles just begun, there’s many lost but tell me who has won?

The trench is dug within our hearts.

And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart.

Sunday bloody Sunday, Sunday bloody Sunday.”

On the 30th January 1972, in Derry Northern Ireland, British soldiers opened fire on a crowd of unarmed civilians (men, women & children) during a peaceful protest march against internment

–         28 people were shot and 14 died

–         Many of the victims were shot while fleeing from the soldiers and some were shot while trying to help the wounded

–         The event became known as Bloody Sunday and the Bogside massacre

–         Bloody Sunday increased hostility towards the British Army and exacerbated the conflict.

–         Support for the Irish Republican Army (IRA) rose and there was a surge of recruitment into the organisation

U2 released the song, Sunday bloody Sunday in 1983, 11 years after the massacre

–         It’s a song which remembers the violence of that day and the days that followed

–         But more than just remembering, U2’s lament is a double edged protest against violence & revenge

–         “There’s many lost but tell me who has won?”

–         It is not okay that British troops opened fire on unarmed civilians

–         But it’s also not okay to respond in violence

–         Bono sings, “I won’t heed the battle call”, meaning I’m not going to sign up to the IRA. I reject a violent & destructive response

Often we think of lament as a sad song – but Sunday bloody Sunday breaks that mould with the feel of defiance

Psalm 137 is oozing defiance and protest

–         In the opening verses the psalmist describes being tormented by their Babylonian captors who are demanding they sing the happy songs of Zion (Zion is another name for Jerusalem)

–         But the Jewish exiles refused to sing, hanging their harps up on the poplar trees in protest

–         To capitulate to the Babylonians’ request would be a betrayal and a lie

–         The exiles can’t entertain their enemies with happy songs without losing integrity. A lament, like psalm 137, enables them to be honest

 

It is difficult to sing happy songs of praise in church when we just aren’t feeling the love

–         Sometimes songs of praise can help to enlarge our perspective and lift our spirits

–         Other times though we need words & music that align with the pain and distress and anger we are experiencing

–         Jesus is spacious – he is both a man of sorrows and a risen Saviour

–         With Jesus there is room for suffering and comfort, tears and joy, anger and peace, lament and appreciation, a cross and an empty tomb

–         We shouldn’t have to pretend in church and yet that’s often what we do

–         Unfortunately there don’t seem to be that many contemporary Christian laments – or at least I don’t know where to find them

–         Maybe we need to be writing and singing our own songs more

 

Lament seeks company – refusing to grieve alone

–         Lament remembers identity – refusing to forget who we are

–         Lament protests honestly – refusing to pretend it’s ok when it’s not

–         And, lament vents anger

 

Lament vents anger:

A fire place, whether it’s a coal range or a wood burner or a gas heater, needs a chimney or a flu – some device for letting the smoke & gas out

–         Without a chimney the smoke or gas would fill the room and create a toxic environment for the people inside

–         Anger is a bit like a fire – if it is allowed to get out of control it has a destructive effect

–         And if it is not vented properly it poisons everyone in the room

–         Lament is anger’s chimney – it provides a vent for our rage and allows us to breathe a little easier

 

In verse 7 the psalmist asks the Lord to remember the Edomites’ disloyalty

–         The Edomites were the descendants of Jacob’s twin brother Esau – so they were like cousins to the Israelites

–         In the book of Obadiah [1] we read how the Edomites stood aside while the Babylonians attacked Jerusalem

–         Worse than that they gloated over Judah’s misfortune and took advantage by looting the city

–         Asking the Lord to remember what the Edomites did is a polite way of asking God to punish the Edomites

But what comes next isn’t so polite – in fact it is one of the most disturbing verses in the whole Bible…

–         O daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. 

Imagine singing those words in church – I think the room would fall silent

–         Some people might say, ‘Well that was the Old Testament, we live in light of the gospel of Christ’ – as if forgiveness wasn’t in the Old Testament and feelings of revenge don’t exist now

–         Others might say this is just a metaphor for something else, but the facts of history don’t really support that kind of reading

–         The Babylonians were cruel & ruthless – they didn’t show mercy for women and children or the elderly

–         The psalmist is asking God to find someone who will do to the Babylonians what the Babylonians have done to them

–         He’s not asking God to forgive them but he is leaving revenge in God’s hands

Clearly the Jewish exiles are angry with the Edomites and the Babylonians and for good reason

–         Anger is a natural and legitimate response to hurt & injustice

–         If I am cut, I bleed. If I suffer injustice, I feel angry

 

Some people deal with the fire of their anger by holding it in – it’s like the chimney of their heart is blocked

–         If you do that it will poison you and make you deeply depressed

–         There are many causes of depression and repressed anger is one of them

–         In New Zealand culture we tend to be not that good at outrage – we are more inclined to in-rage

 

Other people deal with their anger by taking it out on those around them

–         If they can’t take revenge on the person who has caused the injustice then they might kick the cat or yell at their kids or worse

–         If you do that your anger lights the fuse of other people’s anger and before you know it the whole world is on fire

 

So what are we supposed to do with our anger?

–         It’s not healthy to hold it in or to touch others with it

–         Well, the only other option I know of is venting our anger to God

–         Releasing the smoke & heat of our rage up the chimney of lament

–         This is essentially what the writer is doing in the closing verses of the psalm

Venting anger through lament is not the same as forgiveness – but it may be a necessary step in the process toward forgiveness

–         If we try to forgive big things too quickly or too cheaply we find the forgiveness doesn’t stick and resentment lingers

–         In his commentary on this verse Walter Brueggemann asks:

–         “Could it be that genuine forgiveness is possible only when there has been a genuine articulation of hatred?” [2]

–         I’m not sure – I do know there can be no real forgiveness without first facing the truth about ourselves

–         We have to give ourselves time and grace to vent our anger and take the log out of our own eye before we can truly forgive

Lament provides a vent for those nasty feelings that would otherwise choke us

 

Conclusion:

Earlier in the sermon I said that lament is close to appreciation

–         This is literally true of psalm 137

–         When we look at psalm 136 and psalm 138 we notice they are both psalms of thanksgiving

–         Psalm 137, a lament, is sandwiched between two psalms of thanksgiving

The message is clear, when it comes to lament we need to keep our perspective

–         Yes, sad, bad & ugly things happen in life, and we need to seek company in our pain so we don’t grieve alone

–         We need to remember who we are in spite of our loss

–         We need to be able to honestly protest the wrongness of it all

–         And we need to be allowed to express how we feel – to vent our anger

–         But we also need to remember that happy, good & beautiful things happen with greater frequency

–         We need to spend at least twice as much time enjoying & appreciating the good things than we do grieving & lamenting the bad

 

Many of us have had plenty of reason to lament this year, but we’ve also had a lot to be thankful for

–         Give your grief to God – tell him honestly & respectfully how you feel

–         Ask him to do something creative with your pain, but don’t wallow in sadness for too long

–         Look up, the good news is all around you.

 

Questions for discussion or reflection:

1.)    What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon?

2.)    Do you have a favourite song of lament?

–         What is it and why? What does it put you in touch with?

3.)    In what sense are appreciation & lament similar?

–         How are they different?

4.)    Why does lament seek company?

–         What are the benefits of not grieving alone?

–         How might we sit with and listen to those who have suffered loss and are in pain?

5.)    Why is the writer of psalm 137 so committed to remembering Jerusalem?

–         How might we remember who we are after a significant loss?

6.)    In what ways is psalm 137 oozing defiance and protest?

–         What aspect of Jesus’ experience do you identify with most – Jesus the man of sorrows or Jesus the risen and conquering King?

7.)    What three options for dealing with anger are touched on in the sermon?

–         What is your default option for dealing with anger?

–         What can we do to vent our anger in a healthy way?

 

[1] Obadiah 10-14

[2] Walter Brueggemann, ‘The Message of the Psalms’, page 77.