Scripture: Mark 12:30-31
Sermon by Murray Lucas on Self Care
When asked, what is the greatest life commandment, Jesus said in the Gospel of Mark…
‘So love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy’. And ‘Love others as well as you love yourself’. There is no other commandment that ranks with these.
There are three requests Jesus made that are contained in this commandment. The first is Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. The second is love others and the third is love yourself. These three injunctions cannot be separated but each must be viewed in the light of the other two requests. For example, you cannot love God and others effectively if you do not love yourself.
In this message I will be focusing on the third request to love yourself. It is about self-care and this means to value myself as my heavenly Father values me. Self-care honours God through nurturing the body, mind and spirit with their limits and desires. As Will mentioned a fortnight ago it means being honest with yourself.
For some of us, myself included, loving ourselves seemed unbiblical. There is an acronym , JOY that went like this: Jesus first, others second and yourself last. There is some truth in this saying but it can easily be changed into a twisted theology about human worthlessness.
Human beings are never worthless. To quote Adele Calhoun, God gave his dearest and only Son to love human beings, beings he treasures and adores. One of the greatest treasures we have next to Jesus is our own selves. We are gifts of God. His Spirit lives in us. We are invited to receive the divine love that takes residence in our bodies. We are to take it in and let it form us into a place of prayer.
The Psalmist wrote “Thank-you High God – you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – What a creation!” The apostle Paul wrote to the people of Corinth “You realize don’t you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you”.
God’s love within us gives birth to more love: love of God, love of others and love of ourselves. Love is a quality of God that grows within us, enlarging our hearts and increasing our capacity. Self-love is not about self-centeredness. It is about caring for the body the Holy Spirit inhabits.
Paul reminds us in Romans 12 to present our bodies as an act of spiritual worship.
A Quaker writer Parker Palmer writes “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.
The products of self-care are that we value ourselves as Jesus values us. We have a proper view of ourselves and are comfortable in our own skin. We live within limits without burnout and we practice self-awareness rather than self-absorption. We should have a deepening awareness of God’s love for us and ultimately have freedom from addictions that can destroy our health and relationships.
Having defined self-care and outlined some of the fruit of self-care I want to examine how we practice self-care.
There are some obvious practical practices such as exercising and eating sensibly. This responsible attention to health in living will be examined more fully in an inspiring example I will share later.
Another practice is encouraging rather than neglecting yourself. If we are to encourage ourselves it is important we understand the value of realistic, positive self-talk. Sadly, I have met a number of good people who unfairly judge themselves more harshly than others, talk negatively to themselves and set up a spiral of gloom that is difficult to escape from. As humans we all make mistakes but it is very helpful for yourself to recall at such times some of the ways you have brought joy to yourself, your family, God, and to others. This should be spoken or written in a spirit of gratitude. This could be scaffolded as a playlist that you can recall when you go through a season of self-doubt and disappointment. Also, when you come down hard on yourself, remember that you can begin again.
Listening is another important practice. Again as Will shared a fortnight ago from this pulpit we should listen to the Spirit, Listen to the other person and listen to ourselves . Prayer is listening God and if we keep working at it prayer can be positively transformational.
A prayer by Joyce Rupp sums it up well…
Prayer is not only about entering into a relationship with God.
It is also about being changed. Healthy prayer strengthens our bond
With the creator and also transforms us.
Each encounter with God provides the opportunity to grow spiritually.
Prayer makes a difference in our life because it nudges and persuades us
To develop Christlike qualities in our attitude and actions.
Through prayer we become more loving, compassionate and justice oriented human beings.
When this happens, we are altered in a positive way and the world we touch is also changed for the better.
To practice self-care we need to observe appropriate boundaries. This can be particularly challenging if you are a perfectionist. For me, a propensity to try and improve everything can keep me working far past safe and healthy limits. In my job I came to realise that I cannot do everything to my very best. I have to pick and choose what gets done best and what just gets done so I can rest. At times I have to say “Good enough is good enough”. There is nothing wrong with aspiring for excellence and doing my best. But when the quest for excellence drives my body beyond its limits, I have left the realm of appropriate self-care and I am trying to prove something to someone even if it is me.
Another key practice for appropriate self-care is to be able to give and receive love. It is perhaps easier for people to give love but many of us often struggle to receive love.
I love the allegory of the two seas in Palestine. One is the Dead Sea and the other is the Sea of Galilee. The Sea of Galilee gives, receives, lives and flourishes. The Dead Sea however has no outlet. It keeps everything, shares nothing, it neither gives nor receives and it is dead. A question to reflect on: what sea best represents you and your life?
Discernment is another practice that allows us to respect and care for ourselves. Discernment opens us up to listen and recognize the voice and protection in our lives. The Message translation of Philippians 1:9-10 captures the relationship between love and discernment. “So this is my prayer that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. It is important to engage both your mind and heart to use reason and attend to your hearts when arriving at a decision.
To conclude I would like to share with you a story of a young man who showed self-care in an incredibly challenging situation. Since lock-down in 2020, I was made aware of a church minister who demonstrated self-care, love of others and love of God.
His name was the Reverend William Mompesson. In 1664 he was appointed Minister of the Anglican Church of Eyam a town in the Peak District of England close to Sheffield and Manchester.
One year later the Great Plague arrived at his village. Late in 1665 a flea-infested bundle of cloth arrived from London for the local tailor, Alexander Hadfield. Within a week the assistant, George Viccars, noticed the bundle was damp and opened it up and heated it by the fire. This activated the fleas and not long after he was dead and more began dying in his household soon after.
As the disease spread the villagers turned for their leadership to their rector, the Reverend Mompesson. In response Mompesson showed that, “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift he had, the gift he was put on earth to offer others”.
He did three things. He realized he could not lead alone so he turned to an ejected Puritan minister, Thomas Stanley, who still had solid support in the town and in a show of unity these two men persuaded the entire town to adopt a number of self-care health precautions to slow the spread of the illness from May 1666.
In this aspect Mompesson showed real discernment as he realized that Stanley’s gifts and talents were complementary to his. They also took the brave step of isolating themselves from neighbouring towns and cities to stop the spread of the Plague.
These measures included the arrangement that families were to bury their own dead and relocating Church services outside to a natural amphitheatre allowing villagers to separate themselves, social distancing 17th century style, and so reducing the risk of infection.
Perhaps the best known decision was to quarantine the entire village to prevent further spread of the disease (love of others). Merchants from surrounding villages sent supplies that they would leave on marked rocks; the villagers then made holes there which they would fill with vinegar to disinfect the money left as payment. There were many, many further practical examples of self-care.
The plague ran its course over 14 months and one account states that it killed at least 260 villagers with about 480 surviving out of a population of 800.
What was remarkable was that the villager’s actions prevented the disease from moving into surrounding areas. Major neighbouring towns such as Sheffield were spared as a result of the self-care but selfless actions of the township of Eyam superbly led by Reverends Mompesson and Stanley. This is a great example of loving others as you love yourselves. If the villagers had neglected these self-care measures the disease would surely have spread to Sheffield and other neighbouring towns.
Let us all love God with our heart, strength, mind and soul. Let us all love others but also let us have a healthy respect for our self and love ourselves by having appropriate self-care. When you do come down hard on yourself remember that you can begin again. Confess your harsh self-treatment and ask God for grace to receive who you are. The Christian message is about new beginnings.
Tawa Baptist 