Tawa Baptist

Building Bridges

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 9:19-27

Video Link: https://youtu.be/o7Bdmv-u9XQ

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • The freedom to build bridges (vv. 19-22)
  • The necessity of self-discipline (vv. 23-27)
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Good morning everyone.

I grew up in Kirikiriroa, Hamilton, a city with a river running through it. There are eight bridges spanning the Waikato River in Hamilton. Six vehicle bridges, one rail bridge and one pedestrian bridge. I was there for the opening of the Whitiora bridge in the 1970’s. But the Fairfield Bridge, the one with the humps, is probably the most iconic and my favourite. 

The purpose of a bridge is to connect people, allowing greater movement and better communication. If Hamilton had no bridges, then your options for getting to the other side of the river would be limited.

You could swim across but that’s not ideal; the water is cold, dirty and dangerous. Alternatively, you could travel by hot air balloon but that is time consuming, especially if the wind is blowing the wrong way. 

Without bridges our world would be an even more divided place. Bridges save time and drownings. They promote life and relationships. I like bridges, almost as much as I like trees.

Not surprisingly, the term building bridges has become a metaphor for improving relationships between people who are different from each other; people who may not agree or like one another all that much. 

Today we continue our series in First Corinthains, not the whole letter, just three chapters (8, 9 and 10) where Paul discusses the subject of freedom.

How are Christians to use their freedom?

This week’s Bible reading focuses on Corinthians 9, verses 19-27, where Paul describes how he uses his freedom to build bridges. Not literal physical bridges, but relational bridges. Bridges which span the religious and cultural divides that separate people. From First Corinthians 9, verse 19 we read…

19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us.

There are two parts to this morning’s message. In verses 19-22 Paul writes about the freedom he has to build bridges and in verses 23-27 he writes about the necessity of self-discipline. Let us begin then with the freedom to build bridges. 

The freedom to build bridges:

The psychiatrist, Dr Milton Erickson, was a master at building bridges of rapport with people.

On one occasion Dr Erickson was working with a man in a psychiatric ward who had only spoken six sensible words in the five years he had been in hospital. Four of those words were, ‘My name is George’. The rest of the time he spoke in ‘word salad’, a long jumble of words and sounds in no apparent order.

In all that time no one had been able to connect with George much less get any sense out of him. Dr Erickson did something different. He got his secretary to record a sample of George’s speech. Erickson then studied this sample until he could improvise a word salad in similar form.

Dr Erickson sat down beside George and introduced himself. George responded with an angry stream of word salad. Dr Erickson then replied with an equally angry stream of the same kind of sounds. George appeared puzzled and spat out more word salad. So Dr Erickson responded in kind.

A few days later Erickson returned and again George spoke in word salad, this time for four hours. The doctor, aware that George had been watching the clock on the wall, replied in word salad for another four hours. He missed his lunch. George listened carefully.

The next day George gave only two sentences of his word salad. After Erickson had returned his two sentences of gobbly gook, George did an extraordinary thing…

He said: “Talk sense doctor.”

“Certainly, I’ll be glad to. What is your last name?” Erickson asked.

“O’ Donavan, and it’s about time somebody who knows how to talk asked. Over five years in this lousy joint…” and then he lapsed back into word salad.

It was the start of his recovery.

A few months later, with Dr Erickson’s input, George left the hospital and found himself a job. He was never readmitted. Before George could move past speaking in word salad, he needed to feel understood; he needed to be met with his own experience of the world. [1]

Dr Erickson did that for him. Milton Erickson built a bridge and helped George to cross it.

In verse 19 of Corinthians 9, Paul says: Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.

Paul is talking here about how he uses his freedom. Paul builds bridges of trust so that others may come know Jesus and the abundant life he offers.

For example, when Paul is with Jews, he eats kosher food so as not to offend Jewish sensibilities. But when he is with Gentiles, Paul eats whatever is put in front him, because the people Paul is building a bridge with matter to God more than food.

For a physical bridge to stand it needs to be anchored on both sides of the river. It’s the same when building a relational bridge with people who are different from us. If we don’t have a firm foundation in knowing who we are and what our purpose is, then the bridge will collapse and we will fall. 

In verse 21 Paul writes: To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law),       

In building a bridge to connect with those who are different from him, Paul does not abandon his principles or beliefs. He does not lose himself in the process. He holds on to himself and to what is important, namely Christ.

When Milton Erickson built a bridge to reach George, the good doctor did not lose himself. He didn’t go home speaking word salad. Erickson remembered who he was and his purpose, to help George.

It’s not always easy to show empathy for someone without compromising who you are and what you value. Before you can build a bridge, you need to have a strong sense of identity and a healthy self-awareness.

Paul’s identity and purpose in life is firmly grounded in Christ. Paul knows that he belongs to Jesus and he is very clear about why he is building a bridge;

in order to share the love and truth of Jesus. 

So how might this apply in our lives? Well, here’s one example. If you are invited to a party by a friend who is not a believer, then you are free to go to the party remembering who you are and what you stand for.

If others are drinking alcohol and alcohol is not a problem for you, then you might have a wine or a beer, but you don’t get drunk. And if alcohol is a problem for you, then you drink ginger ale, otherwise the bridge you are building will collapse.

Whoever we are with and wherever we might go, we hold fast to Christ for we belong to Jesus. He is our foundation. We can’t build bridges without remaining in him.

Now, when it comes to building bridges, it is important to remember that construction happens from the bottom up. Construction of a bridge is never a top-down thing. You have to put the supports in place first, before you lay the top part which spans the divide.

After the emperor Constantine had conquered territory with his great army, he sent preachers in to proclaim the gospel to the defeated people. [2] That is a top-down approach. That doesn’t really work with the gospel. The defeated people might submit to Christ out of fear, but they will struggle to love or trust him.

Paul’s approach was modelled after Jesus. Paul came, not in overwhelming strength, but in weakness. Paul came alongside people, building bridges from the bottom up. He earned their trust. He spoke their language. He received their hospitality and he served them.

Paul’s bottom-up approach often meant he suffered abuse and hardship. But it also meant others came to faith in Jesus, submitting to Christ out of love and not out of fear.

When we build bridges with people, we need to avoid a top-down approach. We shouldn’t come with a superior attitude, like we’ve got all the answers, or we have a monopoly on the moral high ground. Because we don’t.

In our contemporary New Zealand context, a bottom-up approach to sharing the gospel often means we need to start by listening. The first duty of love is to listen. We also need to live our lives in alignment with the gospel; be true to the gospel in other words.

Then, when the opportunity presents itself, we articulate the gospel; we give words to our faith. And when we speak, it’s important not to feel ashamed or embarrassed about what we say. Just say it. Own it and let the other person feel whatever they might feel.  

Listen in love, be true to the gospel and speak without shame. That’s what a bottom-up approach looks like. 

The necessity of self-discipline:

We are talking about freedom. Freedom is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be tempered by self-discipline. If freedom is the accelerator, then self-discipline is the brake to stop you crashing.

If freedom is hot water, then self-discipline is the cold water to stop you burning yourself. If freedom is sky diving, then self-discipline is your parachute. Freedom needs self-discipline. Without self-discipline, freedom becomes a kind of tyranny. Self-discipline makes freedom functional.

Now in using a term like self-discipline I need to be clear about what we mean. Some people associate discipline with punishment, like hitting a person with a stick. This is not what we mean by discipline.

Discipline is another word for teaching or learning. A disciple (from which we get the word discipline) is an apprentice or a learner, someone in training.

Self-discipline, therefore, is about discipleship. It’s about training yourself, through the formation of good habits. Having a rule of life or a rhythm and routine to your day and week which makes your self-control muscles stronger and trains you in the ways of Christ.  

In verses 24 to 27 Paul writes about the necessity of self-discipline. From verse 24 we read…

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 

The city of Corinth hosted the Isthmian games. The Isthmian games were sort of like the Olympics, except they happened every two years and were located in Corinth. Paul is using an image his Corinthian readers were familiar with. 

In order to be eligible to compete in the Isthmian games one had to commit to a strict training regimen for months beforehand. If you failed to do the training properly, then you were disqualified and could not compete in the games.

High performance sport takes a great deal of self-discipline. You have to exercise your self-control muscles and curb many of your freedoms to be able to compete. You might, for example, give up eating pizza and only eat healthy food. You may also have to forego your sleep-in to get up early and train.

Paul says to run in such a way as to get the prize. In other words, exercise self-discipline. Run purposefully, with a clear objective in mind, for the prize at stake is eternal glory, a crown that lasts forever; something even more valuable than coming first at the Isthmian games.

We need to be careful here not to make Paul’s parable walk on all fours. Paul is not suggesting that only one person can win in the Christian faith. Christian believers are not competing against each other for a place in heaven. There’s plenty of room. Paul is simply saying, it takes self-discipline to be a believer.

Indeed, it requires self-discipline to build bridges. In reaching out to others, Paul found that the bridge doesn’t build itself. There is considerable effort involved in travelling to a new place where the culture is different and you have to learn a new language and new customs. It’s hard graft building rapport.     

Paul carries on to say, 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; 

I do not fight like a boxer beating the air

The apostle Paul (God bless him) has a habit of mixing his metaphors.

He switches from the runner to the boxer halfway through verse 26. Just as a runner in the games competes to win the prize, so too a boxer aims to land his punches and knock out his opponent.

The strange thing about Paul’s boxing metaphor though, is that he is throwing punches against himself. In verse 27 we read: No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Please understand, Paul is not advocating self-harm or self-flagellation here. Paul’s opponent is self-indulgence, the opposite of self-discipline.  

Paul exercises self-discipline so that he is not disqualified for the prize.

What is Paul talking about here? What exactly is the prize he has in mind?

Well, in the context of what he has just been saying about building bridges to win others for Christ, it stands to reason that the prize (or the crown) is winning others for Christ. Paul doesn’t want to forfeit the privilege of being an apostle of Christ. He doesn’t want the bridges he has built to collapse.

But, given what Paul is about to say in Corinthians 10 (which we will get to another time), we can’t rule out the possibility that he might be talking about losing his eternal salvation. That’s a scary thought.         

We shouldn’t live in fear though. God is not looking for an excuse to exclude us from his kingdom. He wants a right relationship with us. We do better to remember that God’s grace is sufficient for us, for his power is made perfect in weakness.

Just as we cannot build bridges in our own strength, so too we can’t really teach ourselves. We need the help of the Spirit of Jesus who supports us and encourages us in our self-discipline, like a personal trainer.

If you are sincere in your desire to please God and follow Jesus, then you can be confident that He who has started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (The Lord has got you.)

Conclusion:

Paul was a remarkable individual. We might feel quite inadequate and under achieving by comparison. But comparisons are not always helpful. Kiwi culture (so I’m told) is quite relaxed, quite chill. We might not have Paul’s sense of intensity or passion, but we can learn from Paul.

Can I suggest little steps to start with, whether it’s building bridges or exercising self-discipline, start small and grow with God. 

Building bridges might mean talking with someone at work who may be different from you or making a connection with a neighbour who you don’t know.

If they are a person of peace, then you might make time to get to know them better and let them get to know you. See where the Spirit leads. You don’t have to quote Scripture at them straight away. Take the pressure out of it. They are not a project or a prop. They are a person to be listened to, understood, respected and loved. 

Exercising greater self-discipline might mean being more selective about what you watch on TV or spending less time focused on work in order to create a more consistent rhythm of physical exercise, prayer, Bible reading and practising hospitality.

Self-discipline isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes it’s about learning to be still and quiet your soul.

I don’t want to be too prescriptive. You need to figure out what is right for you in conversation with your personal trainer, the Holy Spirit. What’s good for one person may not be good for another. Know yourself, be yourself, share yourself, in Christ.

Let us pray: Gracious God, establish us in your love we ask. Guide us in paths of freedom and righteousness for your name’s sake. Help us to build bridges where we can and where you lead, through Jesus we pray. Amen.

Questions for discussion or reflection:

  1. What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?
  2. Why do we need bridges? What does it mean to build a bridge?
  3. Why did Paul build bridges? Can you think of a time when someone built a bridge with you (or vice versa)? What happened? How did you feel?
  4. How might we go about building relational bridges with people we don’t know and/or who are different from us?
  5. Why is self-discipline essential to freedom?
  6. What habits or rhythms do you practice to strengthen your self-control muscles and train yourself in the ways of Christ? What sorts of things get in the way of self-discipline?
  7. What are the next (little) steps for you from this message?

[1] The Dr Erickson story came from a book called ‘Transforming Communication’ by Richard Bolstad and Margot Hamblett, page 71.

[2] Refer Kenneth Bailey’s commentary on 1st Corinthians, ‘Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes’, pp. 257-258.

Tawa Baptist

Ethics

Scripture: 1st Thessalonians 4:1-12

Video Link: https://youtu.be/ee3SwLNEkGo

Structure:

  • Introduction
  • Sanctification
  • Self-control
  • Social responsibility
  • Conclusion

Introduction:

Good morning everyone.

A few days ago I found a debit card on the ground in Redwood Ave. At first I just walked passed it. I had other things to do. Then, after giving it a bit more thought, I went back and picked it up. What if the card fell into the wrong hands? If it was my eftpos card, I would want someone to return it safely.

I didn’t recognise the name on the card and a quick look on Facebook didn’t reveal any clues, so I took it to the nearest Kiwi Bank, because it was a Kiwi Bank card. They could get it back to the rightful owner.

Ethics. We make ethical decisions all the time. Sometimes the decisions are simple and straight forward, like when you find some lost property. Other times the decisions are more difficult and complex, like whether NATO should try to enforce a no fly zone over the Ukraine.  

Today we continue our series in Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, focusing on the first 12 verses of chapter 4. This begins a new section in Paul’s letter in which he talks about Christian ethics; how Christians should behave and conduct themselves. From First Thessalonians chapter 4, verses 1-12 we read…   

As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honourable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. 9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, 11 and make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

May the Spirit of Jesus illuminate God’s word for us.

For the sake of coherence, here are three S’s to guide our thinking on this passage: sanctification, self-control and social responsibility.

Sanctification is the process of becoming holy. Self-control, in this context, is about managing our own body. And social responsibility is about consideration for other people. Let’s begin with sanctification, the process of becoming holy.

Sanctification:

How is your emergency water supply? Each of us needs to drink about one and half to two litres of water a day. Many of you will have an emergency water tank but, unless you have refilled your tank recently, the water probably isn’t potable, meaning it isn’t fit for drinking.

In an emergency, you would need to boil the water for about 5 minutes or so, to kill any bugs, before drinking it.

By way of analogy, potable water (water that is fit for drinking) is holy. It is clean, pure, good for your wellbeing and therefore set apart for human consumption. Continuing this analogy, the process of boiling the water to make it holy (or drinkable) is sanctification.

Unlike stale water, God doesn’t boil us to make us holy. But he does gently and gradually, over time, remove those attitudes and habits and practices from our lives which make us unhealthy or unsafe to be around. 

Holiness is about wholeness or oneness. When we hear the word holiness, we should think health & wellbeing, strength and integrity. We should associate holiness with love, because the two go together. They complement each other.

In Leviticus 19 God says to his people: “Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy”.

Holiness, therefore, has to do with attitudes and behaviours that are in keeping with God’s own character. And sanctification is the process of becoming more holy, like God.        

In First Thessalonians chapter 4, Paul writes…

As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.

The first thing we note here is Paul’s tone and posture. Paul is not heavy handed or top down when introducing ethical teaching. Paul is not holier than thou. Paul comes alongside in a relational way. He refers to the Thessalonians as his brothers and sisters (his equals).

Notice too how Paul says, we ask you and we urge you in the Lord Jesus…    

This is the language of persuasion, not coercion.

What’s more, Paul does not appeal to his own authority in talking about ethical matters. Paul appeals to divine authority saying…     

 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified:

In other words, these ethical instructions are not coming from me (a mere human being), they are coming from the Lord himself.

In fact, the Greek word, translated as instructions, carries the nuance of a military command that is carried down a line of soldiers. Paul then is like a fellow soldier, in the trenches, passing on orders from the general.

Another thing I want to draw your attention to in these verses is the idea that sanctification (or becoming holy) is a process. It is not instant or quick. Sanctification takes time.

When Paul says, we instructed you how to live, the word translated as live is literally walk, where walk is a metaphor for one’s lifestyle. The idea of walking suggests steady progress. It implies being on a journey.

As Paul indicates, it is not the first time the Thessalonians have heard these ethical instructions. Paul is recapping, in this letter, some of what he had already covered when he was with them in person. Repetition and reinforcement is part of any process of learning something new.

This idea of process is seen again at the end of verse 1, where Paul urges the Thessalonians to do this more and more. Sanctification, becoming holy, is incremental or step by step.       

On first becoming a Christian we can’t expect to be morally perfect overnight. Nor do we have all the answers on right and wrong. We may slip up from time to time. Two steps forward, one step back sort of thing. That’s okay, so long as we keep moving in the right direction toward holiness, toward Christlikeness. 

Perhaps the most obvious thing to point out, in these first three verses, is that the goal of Christian ethics is to live in a way that pleases God.

Living to please God indicates a dynamic relationship. Christian ethics isn’t just about following a set of rules. It’s more about understanding God’s intent (or the spirit behind the law) so that we can apply the rules in a way that pleases God. To understand God’s intent, you need to have a relationship with him.

Okay, so that’s our first S, sanctification. Our second S is self-control.

Self-control:

Some of you may go to the gym. As part of your gym routine you might do a bit of weight lifting, to build muscle mass and strength and burn some fat. Three things muscles need to grow: nourishment, exercise and rest.

Nourishment is about eating the right kind of foods. Exercise is about using your muscles regularly and carefully. And you need to rest, so that your muscles have a chance to repair. Improving your strength and fitness is a process that requires commitment and discipline in these three areas.

Self-control is like a moral muscle. Self-control enables us to do the heavy lifting of ethics. Three things you need to make your self-control muscles stronger and fitter are nourishment, exercise and rest.

We nourish our self-control by avoiding anything that would tempt us to self-indulgence and feeding our minds with that which supports us to make good choices.

Like Paul said in his letter to the Philippians: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

We exercise self-control by showing restraint. Sometimes that means not talking but listening instead. Other times it means being careful about what we eat. Some of you may have given up chocolate or alcohol for Lent.

We might also exercise self-control by counting to ten when we feel angry or taking a walk to calm ourselves down. The exercise of self-control requires self-awareness.

Rest is essential to self-control as well. If we show too much restraint all the time, or if we try and suppress all desire and all enjoyment, then we will only end up doing ourselves harm. Self-control does not mean denying ourselves of every pleasure and never having fun.

Sometimes, as part of a balanced diet, you are allowed to eat cake. Sometimes we need the distraction of watching an uplifting movie. Sometimes it’s okay to have a sleep in. And, in the context of a loving marriage, it is healthy for a husband and wife to enjoy each other’s bodies.

If we are too buttoned down, too rigid all the time, we will end up doing damage to our self-control muscles, like a weight lifter who pushes too hard with their training. 

Returning to Thessalonians; from verse 3 of chapter 4, Paul focuses on one aspect of Christian ethics, namely, sexual ethics. Paul writes…

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honourable,

The main point I want you to see here is that we avoid sexual immorality by learning to control our own body. That is, through developing our self-control.

Now it needs to be said that Christian ethics and sanctification are not solely concerned with sexual matters. Christian ethics covers a whole range of things including money, speech, work, caring for the environment, social justice, discerning when to get involved in geopolitical conflicts, and so on.

So why does Paul want to talk about sexual ethics with the Thessalonians? Well, it’s probably because the society in which the Thessalonians lived was sexually permissive. (Even more permissive than our society.)

For example, the ancient Greeks and Romans didn’t really consider adultery to be a sin. While some husbands and wives were faithful in marriage, many weren’t. It was commonly accepted that a man keep a wife for raising children and looking after the home and keep a mistress for romance and sexual gratification.

The Greeks and the Romans had made a religion out of sex. Temple prostitutes walked the streets plying their trade in the name of Aphrodite and Venus.

One in five people were slaves in the Greco-Roman world. Slaves had almost no rights under law. If a slave owner wanted to sexually exploit a boy or girl in their employment, they could do so freely.

Divorce was also rife in that culture. If a man grew tired of his wife he simply divorced her and found someone else, leaving the first wife destitute.

Incredible harm was caused by this culture of sexual immorality. The Christian ethic of self-control, promoted by Paul, protected everyone, particularly women, children and slaves who were among the most vulnerable.        

You may be wondering, what does Paul mean by sexual immorality? And what does it mean to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable?

Well, before answering that I need to say this: please hear me as a brother. Hear my heart. I’m not speaking to you as someone who is perfect. I’m in a process of sanctification too. So I speak to you as an equal and as someone who cares about your wellbeing.

For Paul, any sexual activity prohibited by the Law of Moses is immoral.

Basically, when it comes to sex, there are two paths which Paul would have considered holy and honourable. The first path is being single and celibate. (Paul himself walked that path.) And the second is being married and faithful. 

This means, sex outside of marriage is not God’s intention for Christians. Furthermore, it is God’s intention that sex within marriage be consensual, not coerced; self-giving, not selfish; and enjoyable, not something to feel ashamed about.          

Now I realise this teaching, prohibiting sex outside of marriage, may be difficult for some. Life is not easy and we are complex creatures. Each of us comes to this with different experiences. But, whatever our history, we all have desires (whether we want them or not). We all have a need for companionship and intimacy. We all want to feel tenderness and love. God understands that. So, as a brother, let me provide some Biblical nuance to aid our understanding. 

If you have had sex outside of marriage and you are repentant (sorry) about that, then know that God is gracious and compassionate. Failure is not fatal. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery and said, ‘Go and sin no more’. Those who are repentant don’t have to carry around a weight of guilt and shame for the rest of their life.

For those who have been sexually abused, please know it is not your fault. You are not to blame. That abuse was never God’s intention for you.

Sexual ethics isn’t just a private personal matter. It is a matter of social justice.  As Paul says in verse 6 of Thessalonians 4, in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord is an avenger in all these things.

That means God understands your hurt (if you have been abused) and he will see that justice is done. The one who harmed you will be held to account.

If you have crossed the line sexually and you don’t feel sorry for it, or don’t think you can help it, then know that God wants more for you than that. As Paul says in verses 7-8: For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

God gives us his Holy Spirit to help us on the road to holiness; to enable us to make choices which are life-giving to ourselves and others.  

If someone you love is making choices in their sex life that the Bible does not condone and you are concerned for them, then know that God loves them. You don’t have to cure them. Nor do you need to agree with them. Simply seek to listen and understand. Then you will be better able to care for them.

If you are single but don’t want to be, then know you are in good company. Jesus, Paul, the prophet Jeremiah, Mother Theresa and John Stott (among many others) were single and celibate. By God’s grace they redirected their energy in service to God’s call on their life.

Despite being single, none of these people were alone. Each of them had a circle of close friends who helped to meet their needs for companionship and emotional intimacy. 

If you have never crossed the line sexually. If, somehow by God’s grace, you have always controlled your body in a way that is holy and honourable, then respect. Well done. We salute you. But be aware, there may be another area of holiness that God would like you to work on. We are all on a journey.

We have been talking about self-control in the context of sexual ethics. Self-control is the necessary pre-requisite to social responsibility.

Social responsibility:

In verses 9-10 Paul celebrates a different kind of love. Not sexual love, but brotherly love or family love. The Greek word here is Philadelphia, like the city. The kingdom of God is a city of brotherly love.

Loving others like they are our family is the foundation of social responsibility. The church is a spiritual family. You don’t get to choose your family but you still do everything in your power to look after them. It is God’s Spirit in us and among us that enables us to love like this.    

In verses 11-12 Paul enlarges the net of social responsibility to include people outside the church family; people in the wider society who we may interact with. He writes: 11 and make it your ambition to lead a quiet life:

This is a bit of an oxymoron. It’s like saying, and make it your ambition to not be ambitious. I guess the thought is, don’t be greedy, be content.

Paul continues saying, …You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Minding your own business is about exercising self-control in your speech. We need to avoid gossip and take care in how we talk about others. We have a social responsibility to look after other people’s reputation.  

Paul also encourages the Thessalonians to work with their hands. This was a counter cultural thing to say. The Greeks despised manual labour. There’s was not a DIY culture, like we have in New Zealand.

Apparently some in the church at Thessalonica were freeloading, taking advantage of the kindness of other believers. This was not good for anyone. Those who are able to work have a social responsibility to contribute as they can.

More than that, working is good for you. It provides you with a purpose and it keeps you out of trouble. The rhythm of regular work actually supports the process of sanctification and helps with developing self-control.

The Christian faith was brand new in Greece and Macedonia, in the first century. Most people outside the church were unsure of Christianity. By showing themselves to be socially responsible citizens the Thessalonian believers could earn respect and acceptance.

Conclusion:

A point of application for us here is being mindful of how those outside the church perceive us. We don’t want to worry too much about what others think but we do want to walk the talk. Our ethics both personally and publicly need to reflect God’s holiness.

Let us pray…

Holy Spirit, help us in the process of sanctification. Grant us strength when we feel weak, clarity when we feel confused, patience when we feel frustrated by our progress and grace when we stumble. We trust you to complete the work you have begun in us, for Jesus’ sake. Amen. 

Questions for discussion or reflection:

What stands out for you in reading this Scripture and/or in listening to the sermon? Why do you think this stood out to you?

  • How do you make ethical decisions? Think of an example from your own life?
  • What is sanctification? Why do we need to be holy? What is the goal of Christian ethics?
  • How do we grow our self-control muscles? What practical strategies can we employ? How does self-awareness support self-control?
  • Why does Paul focus on sexual ethics in 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8? What does it mean to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable? How are Paul’s words, in verses 3-8, relevant for us today?   
  • Discuss / reflect on the various aspects of social responsibility that Paul touches on in verses 9-12.
  • Is there a particular area of sanctification that God’s Spirit is working on, in you, at the moment? How might you cooperate with the Holy Spirit in this area?

Outtake:

Paul doesn’t start his letter with ethics and telling people how to live. He gives the first three chapters to affirming his relationship with the Thessalonians and letting them know how much he misses them and cares for them. So it is in the context of care that Paul by talks about right conduct.